Keep the faith, luv.

Now or never

2011-06-26T11:02:00.002+08:00

HEY GUYS I GUESS SINCE I HAVENT BLOGGED FOR SO LONG...........
I'M ON HIATUS.
HAHAHAHAHHAA oh well. I really hope i do well for CT2s/////
Revenge of the fallen(?) I'll try but dk if i can.
Anyway was reading my old blog, just for fun!
So many things i suddenly remembered, that made me laugh and grin, frown and down.
It isnt any form of rekindle of old feelings but more of suddenly remembering what it was all about.
I like reading my old blog. It makes me remember my old friends. And what we went through to become what we are today.
But there was one line that made me laugh as in.... OMG that was SO FREAKING LONG AGO kind of laugh.

Anata wa suki des! #justsaying.
HAHAHHAA that's all for today back to my econs!
Cant believe school is starting...................... Tomorrow. :(

Random thoughts fills my mind.

2010-07-13T16:45:00.003+08:00

I'm hoping no one comes here anymore so i can just use this as a diary.

So if you are reading plz tell me? So i will stop.

I dontknow why i'm thinking about so many things these days.

Is the 3 S's i got for my midterms so far driving me crazy?

Or is some random thing just reminding me of one thing that leads me to another and another and then another. You know? The cycle goes on.

I never really thought about this when i liked her status-es.

But when she liked mine, ..... Did she think about the things i do when she sees my name on her notifications?

I mean, wouldn't it lead her back to the fact of my relation to her?

Just like how it will lead me to remember how she's his now?

I mean... I dont really love him anymore. But the weird feelings still remains.

Which then brings me back to the one thing leads to another.

I dk why i think back but i do i think its my worse habit but i have it.

And i guess the same thing always strucks me.

I have no idea why i never asked him before but maybe someday when the chance comes i will.

I never knew why you stopped talking to me.

You said that Mii chiang wasn't involved in this and all...

And no matter what i said you denied it through and through and so i didnt bother becuz anyway you moved on and she moved on too.

Why rake up the past right?

I know. I really know. But its just that unanswered question that bugs me.

It bugs me all the time, whenever i'm brought back to the memories.

Memories which i feel are slowly fading away but somehow still staying at where it was all these time.

I always wonder.

Was the reason why you never talked about Ann Gie.

Was it becuz you didnt want me to know cuz you were serious about me and didnt want me to know what you did to her, or was it becuz you were planning to do the same thing you did to her to me?

I dontknow, i dont say it but ya i guess i know a lil about you and her but i never took it to heart.

Well that is until you did exactly the same thing to me.

So all along, when i really thought you were serious, were you?

Were you, or was i just another Ann Gie to you?

Was i just another one of your 'Oh that one not serious one lah, sec 1 so young'

Was i going to be the 'Oh that one not serious one lah, sec 3 so young'

Was i?

Did i really not matter so much at that point of time?

I dontknow why i'm thinking about this but this is coming to me all the time.

I dontknow why i'm raking up the past.

I dontknow why i'm ranting.

I dontknow why i dont want to know anything more but yet i want to know the answer to this.

Why? Why did you stop talking to me.

Was i really just nothing, nothing but just a second first love?

I've moved on lovelies,

2010-01-03T22:15:00.004+08:00

Hello world! I'm back from New York!
Oh & fyi, this will be my last post here anyway. Will be changing blog url's :)
Just to start anew since i've moved on completely. :D
Sad memories just aren't meant to be kept!
Happy ones will be with me so even if i close this blog i'll always remember. :D
One year ago when you stopped talking to me, I felt like my world came crashing down on me.
I wrecked my life. For almost one whole year i wrecked my life into a pile of nothingness.
But i'm glad i did. Cuz if not for you, i wouldn't have had the best friends that i have now.
I've found the best 3 friends in my entire life. &I love them anyhoo.
So. I still thankyou.

Just for you -
Don't let a girl fall in love with you if you don't intend to catch her fall. Don't make promises that you cannot keep.
I hope you can give your next girlfriend promises that really lasts, &that you dont use the same way on her like you did for the last 3 girls. Its just shows you really dont have the courage to tell your partner that you no longer feel the same. &you should have the courage, if not it really just makes you a coward.
Sweet talk works sometimes, but empty promises dont.
&sometimes......................., sorry after everything is of no use becuz the damage is already done.
I dont regret anything that made me smile. I just regret not pulling out of this earlier.
&just so you know, girls forgive but they Never, ever forget.
This is true no matter how other girls deny it.
All the best for everything else, &take care!

Anyway new blog at heart-onhold@blgspt.
Catch me there!
Its not really done, but i'm outta time. Happy 2010!

I don't miss him, i miss who i thought he was.

2009-12-17T15:26:00.004+08:00

Off to New York tomorrow. Will miss everyone!

Esp Ven, Char & Bestfriend. :)

Well i wished Ven & Char were here, wanted to tell them stuffs.

But oh well. Will catch up with them when they're back.

When i'm back from New York......... I'll be a brand new me.

Anticipate that, lovelies. Take care seeyou'll sooon! :D

Line of the forever "AWSD" (?)

HAHAHA, what a joke.

I hope if we ever get into the same Junior College, no one will ever know we were ever an item.

&i hope you will never hurt a girl like you did to the 3 girls that once had a special thing for you.
-
-
-
-

No girl deserves that.

Robbed me of the ability to utter a single word,

2009-12-14T14:03:00.005+08:00

Pictures from Picnic last Friday!!

Damn cool i tell you, we hitch-hiked youknow!! HAHAHA.

For those who dontknow what hitch-hike is :

We flagged a random car & got on it & the person fetched us!

HAHAHA damn cool. First time i did something like that, zomg.

Ok we did that cuz i was gonna be late for curfew laa, &the shuttle bus from Marina Barrage just left! & no SBS bus in sight.

So Eeron randomly flagged a car, then the first car really slowed down!

Then we all stun. Didnt do anything, &so the car drove away. Shittens,(!!)

So we decided to flag another car. & the car stopped! :D

Fetched us to Marina Bay MRT station. So nice righttt(!!!!) HAHAHA.

Okkk some pictures of Picnic here, go Fb for the rest! (:

Right. So i think this post'll most probably be my last post of the year! :(
Its quite sad, how this year has passed so fast. So many things.................

Happy ones, sad ones, angry ones, disappointed ones, & so many more.

But Quoted from....., a friend last year :

"The New year is comin so hope we can put all these behind. And welcome the new year. (...)"

Ha, so. Time to put all these behind.

Anyw this is gonna be the last post cuz i'll be flying to New York this Friday night.

11.55pm i guess. Will only reach NewYork on Sunday early morning hours.

About super early morning Ha. SEE i'm gonna die on the plane.

It takes me freaking 24hours. ONE DAY. to reach NY. Z, :(

HAHA but nvm anticipate the cold there...................:D

Well that's all &...

HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO MY SEXY VEN :D

&HAPPY EARLY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! :)

Anitcipate the new year & all the new things. :)

Last year before i left, i can remember how i felt. I was sad, anxious, then finally happy. Y'know why? I was sad cuz he was working, i couldn't get to him. I was anxious, becuz i was gonna get into the plane, &was afraid i couldn't hear his voice for the last time before i head for Paris. I was happy, becuz he did rush out of work to give me a call just in time to say goodbye, and along with an I Love You. It kept me smiling, & thinking about him my whole plane ride.

This year, i wont need to have any of these emotions anymore. No sad, no anxious, no happy. Becuz i wont be anticipating any call from him. It finally dwelled on me how much i'd forgotten with time. Maybe it just scares me, how these memories can fade so fast when time seems to come to a standstill. But , maybe this is just life. &you just gotta live with it.

I dontknow if i would send you a text , like what i had planned. I dontknow if i should. I dontknow if it makes a difference if i did. But if i do text you, i hope there would be a reply. A very honest reply. &that's it. We're done with what used to be, us.

He took my breath away,

2009-12-10T16:29:00.003+08:00

I don't wanna play the broken hearted girl.

我们总是错过幸福的那一站.

That's all. :) Update again. :)

2009-12-08T14:00:00.003+08:00

Am currently watching 下一站，幸福。

I tell you, its damnnn effing nice. I swear. OMG ha.

AHHHHH maybe i shall become an actress.

Cuz even if all these dramas dont happen on the real me,

I can still like go through it if i'm an actress. :)

Finished watching the newest episodes of 桃花小妹 &Hi My Sweetheart. :)

Haha, all reallly nice shows but very........ Unrealistic.

Oh well. That's why we watch these dramas right? Cuz it wont happen on us.

Haaaaaa. Well. Its gonna be an eventful weeek!

Last week went for Mr So's wedding, :) HAHA he was reallllly shuai manzxzxz!

Haha. Both Bestfriend & ZeGuang was very gentleman-ly that day!!

HAHA take food for me & Char, we didnt need to do it ourselves. :)

Haha, :D

Okkkk nothing much. Out with Anthea & Ven tmr,

Out with another friend on Thursday,

&...., Escape on Friday? HAHA coolio alrighty bye.

Bestf, you've always wanted me to trust. &you felt that, my next chapter in life wont be finding someone else with Faizal's eyes, but it will still be him. I'm sorry but i've lost faith. I cant trust him, like how selflessly i did when i was with him. I'm done with him &all the hurt. I'm gone.

I tried my best to re-connect with you, but i dont think you want to anymore anyway.

2009-12-03T13:43:00.002+08:00

I swear i'm going crazy uploading pictures on Facebook one by one.
I bet its faster posting it on my blog la. ZOMG.

HAHA okkkk finally done, now tagging people, (GASPS.)

Haaaaaaaaaa life's a boring bitch now. Ha..........................................

Wellllllllll finally done with uploading & tagging picturesss. :)

Oh & since i'm here today,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JINYUAN! :D

Welll i've been doing nothing (ugh) But i've only got 15 more days in Singapore!

Then going overseas on the 18th Dec then back on 31st Dec one or two AM.

So i'll be back for countdown to 2010! :D

Oh Mr So's wedding on Fridayyyyyy. Bf & Zg is going tooooo!

HAHA Have to find a dress for that dayyyyy...................... (Sighs) Dress, again!!! :(

Okkkkkk nothing to blog!

Went out with Dearie on Mon, bought present for MR & MRS SO!

Then.........., heart talk. HAHA loveddd it! :D

Ok now really got nothing alrd. Hmmmmm, another time! :)

I thought what we had was special.

2009-11-30T11:45:00.003+08:00

That's all for today. Rush for time, another day! :)

While packing stuffs, i found this old diary of mine, which i thought i'd lost in the early part of this year. Was reading it &had so many flashbacks. Only one entry for the year 2009 on the 10th January. & what striked me the most was my last line.

"He stopped talking to me altogether.................... Why is this so familiar? Maybe the reason why he never liked to talk about his past is becuz he was gonna do the same thing he did to her to me. Well maybe, i'm just another Ann Gie in his eyes. Screw Love."

Well, am i? Its time to move on, gotta forget him.

"Its not that you cannot forget him. Its becuz you dont want to."

It sucks to admit but i think Vendela is actually right. Screw this shit.

Happy Or Not.

2009-11-24T11:10:00.002+08:00

There are some things we do becuz we convince ourselves it would be better for everyone involved. We tell ourselves that its the right thing to do, the altruistic thing to do.

You know why?
............................................................
Becuz its far easier than telling ourselves the truth.

I seem to have lost faith in so many things that i once believed in.
I seem to be back to the same old me 9 months ago. But......, Its shouldnt be like this.

Its just so hard to be the one always waiting.

I dont believe in forever anymore. Maybe i shouldn't have believed in it anyway.

2009-11-22T20:20:00.004+08:00

Hello Peeeeeps.

After O's beeen like the most boring thing lah, Z.
There's really so little to do. Prom's next Tuesday though, :)
HAHA i'm a lil excited for it. Wonder how everyone'll loooook like.
Then again, when everyone's dressed up, everyone'll look better right?
HAHA the guys will be more handsome, the girls will be prettier.
HAHAHA okkkkkk looking forward to it. :)
Life after O's just been ugh, Ha outings after outings.
Out with Ven & Maryann to shop for clothes on Tues.
They bought bought dresses hahaha.
Then out with Bestf on Wednesday after he shopped for clothes with the guys.
He was sooooo tight-lipped about what they're wearing. HAHA nvm anticipate on Tues. :)
Caught 'My Sister's Keeper' with him for like a second time, HA.
Its funny how girls cry so much easier than guys. Yup i cried like crazy, Again.
Then todayyyyy! I finally finish reading My Sister's Keeper the storybook.
ZOMG i also cried like crazy at the last part. Its a BOOK ok. No kidding.
But it was really.........., heart-wrenching, touching. You name it, yup.
I swear Jodi Picoult really has like the best brain to think of all these touching stories la, :(
HAHAHA really very sad. Okkkkkk havent posted pics in a long time.
Here's with my Bf, :) Camwhore more during prom alrighty byeee.

That's all for today.
&Last but not least! Thanks okkkk Chris for that lengthy tag ha.
I get what you mean, dont think too much when i post stuff like that ok, :)
Cuz yup its just another moment when i feel torn up anyw. HAHAHA.
But, you know me, i'll be over it soon. :) Take care over there come back soon. :)

I think that decision i made was crap. Everything i say about decisions about it is just crap. Ha, is it me or its just an illusion. About breaking free from this shit. I know in a few years time i so am gonna look back & laugh at myself for being sucha stupid ass for holding on to nothing but crap. I know, that this is just gonna be one of the failed relationships i have. I know there's someone better out there, waiting for my arrival. So why the fuck is this shittens thingy still here?! Then again, Love. Love, you cant just forget love by setting yourself a deadline. By saying, "At this date, i will stop thinking about him. I will stop liking him. I will stop loving him. I will throw away every damn shit memory of him." No. Its doesnt work that way. Its a slow process that i dont wanna go through at all. It hurts like damn fuck all over again, shouldnt this have been over eons ago? I guess i've used O levels as an excuse one too many times, & now that i actually have to deal with this with no more excuses to give..... I'm lost. I dont know how to deal with it. I dont wanto deal with it. I dont wanto go through this damn heartache anymore. That's it.
"What can i do, the love that we had is torn in two. So you take the smiles, from all our years. I'll take the tears."

2009-11-16T15:18:00.003+08:00

Maybe that’s just growing up.

When you’re young, you tell yourself things like,

“Well, if it didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be,”

as if that actually meant something just because it sounds like it does.

I think you can say something like that so blithely because you expect to stumble onto something else just as wonderful just around the next bend in the road.

But people are rare, perfect, unique things and just because everyone really does live a life
full of farewells doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least realize what it really
means to say goodbye to something that meant everything.

Just because you will survive and get over it doesn’t mean you should let it go.

-Adam Duritz

I guess sometimes I'm so focused on finding our happy ending i don't learn how to read the signs. Like how to tell from the ones who wants and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave.

And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's just me on my own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing myself up for something better in the future.

Maybe the happy ending is just moving on................................... Isnt it(?)

9 months........., is it long enough?

2009-11-12T17:32:00.002+08:00

"It takes a second to say 'I Love You' but it takes a lifetime to show it."

'I Love You' (s), it no longer means anything does it.

On a whole, if love takes a lifetime to show it, then how many people truly know/shown Love?

If not, these people who claim they know love, & yet are able to forget the one they claimed they love after awhile. Then, it isn't Love they had, is it?

Looks like 'I Love You' no longer means anything. Its just.... another form of sweet talk becuz you never know if the person really means it anyway.

So, When you say, "I Love You" to someone.............,

Do you know if you really mean it?

Now that's something to ponder about.

What an understatement.

This is not emo, this is not pessimistic.

I guess i'm just becoming more realistic & thinking more.

The first cut is the deepest.

2009-11-10T21:39:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA Zomg to start of a post with such a cute guy's face is like(!!!!!!!!!)

Perfect.

HAHAHA. I seriously think he's damn cute. :D :D :D

O's are gonna be over, left with Chemistry paper 1 on Friday.

Back to school tmr for Chem extra lesson, early to meet up with Bestf, :)

HAHAHA currently........, i'm still into 桃花小妹:D

& of cuz Jiro Wang.

HAHAHA. Yes screwed up my Physics paper one today zomg.

I was like effing careless. Damn sad.................... I could've gotten full marks DAMN.

Nvm. "Keep moving forward" :D

Chemistry papar one, i get full marks for compensation okkkkk!

HAHA nothing left to say off to chat with Zx & Bestf now byeeeeee. :)

13th November's nearing. I dont want O's to end cuz........... I dont wanto face this. I dont wanto make a decision. But i will because................... Its just time.
Comtradictaions over contradictions over contradictions. I dont know what to think.

2009-11-05T10:14:00.005+08:00

HI :) More than half of O's is overrrrrrr :D

Screwed up some but nvm bah hope for the best!!

Mj movie This is It movie outing was the bombxzxzxz.

Had much fun ytd suaning Jolin & ZuXiang.

Had cake for Jolin hope she loved it! :)

In all, Happy belated Birthday Tan Jo Lin! :D Loveeeeeee.

Let the peektures do the talking. :)

Didnt post much cuz lazyyy. Currently watching 桃花小妹now zomg.

This fella here is currently my new love......:D HAHAHAHA zomg so cute. :):):):):):):):):)
HAHAHAHA off to see the latest ep 3 and then off to study geog!! :D

Bye peeps.

2009-10-23T09:59:00.002+08:00

Trust,
Is a very big word.
-
-
-
-
O levels in 2 days omfg, bye off to study. :)

2009-10-19T11:58:00.007+08:00

Hi Hi :)

Its 7 days to O levels now......., I'm feeling pretty stressed out these days....):

I mean, everyone around me is like complaining that i look too stressed.

Shit, maybe i'm stressed cuz i'm starting to regret not studying earlier. ):

Sigh. See i shouldnt even be here laaaa, zomg.

HA. K enough of complaints!

Last Friday was at Airport with the weirdest study group HA HA HA.

Hm was with Vendela, Mei Xin, Li Hao, Yeng Fai and Sin Yong.

HAHAHA seee actly wanted to study but in the end........ Lol.

Started off at Macs, played the big cards Li Hao brought... studied for awhile.

Have lunch, then talked about stuffs, then aiyo no mood to study alrd.

HAHAA then walk walk, sit down on floor, camwhore abit. Play games.

Then went home. Ahhhhhhhh, but coolio i think it was quite fun!

Wasnt as weird as i thought it'll be HA HA HA.

&i srsly think i'm much stronger now........., cuz i didnt cry.

HAHAHAHAA. Let's not talk about that anymore.

Anyw i've decided to dedicate a song to my Bestf (s), heee.

Love you all very very much, thanks for everything. :)

"You Make It Real" By James Morrison. (I think.)

So much craziness surrounding me
So much going on, it gets hard to breathe
When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me
You make it real for me

When I'm not sure of my priorities
When I've lost sight of where I'm meant to be
Like holy water passing over me
You make it real for me

And I'm running to you, baby
Cuz you're the only one who saved me

That's why I've been missing you lately
Cuz you make it real for me

When my head is strong, but my heart is weak
I'm full of arrogance and uncertainty
When I can't find the words,
You teach my heart to speak
You make it real for me

And I'm running to you, baby
Cuz you're the only one who saved me
That's why I've been missing you lately
Cuz you make it real for me

Oh when everybody's talking in words I don't understand

You got to be the only one who knows just who I am
You're shining in the distance, I hope I can make it through
Cuz the only place that I want to be
Is right back home with you

I guess there's so much more, I have to learn
But if you're here with me, I know which way to turn
You always give me somewhere, somewhere I can run

You make it real for me

And I'm running to you, baby
Cuz you're the only one who saved me
That's why I've been missing you lately
Cuz you make it real for me
You Make It Real For Me.
Thanks, Lovee you very very much. :)

I'm stronger now, much stronger than what i used to be................

2009-10-12T13:23:00.014+08:00

Hey yo its been the longest time since i blogged.

Anyw last Friday was grad dayyyyy.................. :(

Sigh i cried like zomgggg laaa and i was the only one who did, other than Jie Ming.

Damn. Anyw........, yes i think 4Harmony is the best class i've been in.

Although sometimes i do regret changing classes.........

But right now i know the biggest regret in my life would've been if i didnt change into Harmony.

For in harmony, i've gained many. Although i've also lost some, but... Ya it doesnt matter.

Being in harmony made me grow up. Harmony has helped me gain friends i thought i would've never known about. Harmony had let me into the bliss of love, took it away, but yet at the same time replaced it with friends that are irreplacable. Harmony had taught me how to treasure those that are around you, and not to regret it when he/she is gone. Harmony has given me so so so much, and taken away so so so little. Harmony has given me the kind of bestf's i know i would cherish till eternity. So............, Thank you so much Four Harmony.

I'll let the pictures do the talking now. :)

Vendela Wooo, :D

Ng Zu Xiang, :)

Seeee this is when Zx asks Jolin to prom. HAHAHA. :D

Hey yo this is my bestfriend. :)

2 Couragians, Char Me & Wei Kian. :)

3/4 Harmony classmates. :)

The one & only school lake. :)

Charmaine Teo, dearie. :D

SEE SEE MY BESTFRIEND IS SO CUTE RIGHTTTT. :D

Haha Zx made us take this picture before taking the one belowwwwww, :D

AHA AHA couple of the year? :D

Ying Hui! :)

SIX years friends, how cool is that, Benjamin Ho. :)

Jie Ming :)

Jolene, Sherina & Rui Shan, :)

CHEEE MEI XUAN, :)

Jocelyn the lagger, :)

Bestfriend Peh Wei Jie. :D

4 years classmates Samy Sitt Wei Kian, :)

Tan Ze Guang, :)

Lowell Chong Jia Yee, :)

This class will be missed! Along with many other friends that i've had in Chung Cheng.
Anyw i'm too lazy to post anymore pics up cuz i just realised i miss out the group hug.
Me Char Aslyn & Jolin in the middle with the 7 guys in the class hugging us from the outside.
I guess i've much mixed emotions......., sad, blissed and many more.
But in any case, i know i will miss everyone.
Yes anyw prom is going welllllllllll, :)
I cant wait till then and.............. I've got a fantasy that only a few know.
"I hope that ................................ As a friend............................... Prom."
Fill in the words, HAHAHAHAHA.
2 weeks left to O levels & then it'll be really goodbye.
Take care okay, I will remember all of you. :D
YOU ALL ARE LOVED BY ME. :D

I've cracked much brain cells for many days deciding whether to write that letter to you, and after many opinions i did. Because i'd rather regret doing it than regret not doing it. I'd also gave you the ring you never knew existed, and i'm actly glad i gave it to you. It feel as if a whole burden has been lifted off my shoulders. If this whole year, me clinging on to us/all the emo shit on this blog has affected you in a way or another, (if it didnt, then i'm glad.) Then i'm really sorry. I guess...., finally after so long i might be finally putting an end to this. Sorry that it took me so long... But yes, i guess you've read the letter & i really hope maybe someday we can really become bestfriends again, for you being my bestfriend is something i know is worth holding on to for life. Thanks and sorry for everything too, friend. :)
All the best for O's then, let's all do well together. :)

2009-09-23T21:41:00.003+08:00

Hellllo i'm here for a fast update.

Prelim results hasnt been any goooood i feel like i'm gonnna scoop my O's damn.

Anyw was farewell for Chris today, had fun at Kallang Leisure park.

Was with Florence MeiXuan Jolene RuiShan Sherina Lowell JieMing WeiJie Benjamin Zeguang WeiKian YingHui JoLin CharamaineT Aslyn Sheena. & of cuz Chris la.

Ate some Jap buffet zomg the food was zzzzzzzzzzomg! HAHAHA.

Ya took like super alot of pictures with Charmaine's Big big camera....., :D

Heh Pictures'll be up on Facebook sooon i guess, go check it out! (:

Then after that MeiXuan & gang plus 4 guys went for bowling !

So left me JoLin CharmaineT Aslyn YingHui Sheena Benjamin & JieMing.

Walked around for awhile then decided to go home.

Aslynnnnnnnn made me JoLin &Ben walkkkk so long la.

Ended up at the busstop where we could walk a shorter way there, zomg.

HAHA but yes bus ride with Ben after JoLin was gone was (!!!!)

HAHAHA i think thats the first time in 6 years of knowing Ben that i talked so much to him, alone.

Zomg. Yes but haha i'm gonna miss him after Sec 4(!)

After all, 6 years of friends, 10 years schoolmates. Heh. (:

Anyw k i am officially not feeling wellll at alll.....................):

This sucks cuz i dont wanna fall sick now... zzz.

Plus prom's a big headache now, thanks so much hur.

Called bestf but he didnt pick up too. ): ): ):

K off to watch my MingZhong bye.

Today, i took out everything that you gave me, a small gift or a big one.

Today, i took out everything that i wanted to give you but never had a chance to.

Today, i cried as much as i did when we broke up 7 months ago.

Today, i missed you hell of alot.

Today, i made a promise to myself that i will never let a guy hurt me this much again.

Today, i took out the pair of rings that were meant for you & me....... I stared at it for a long time, & wondered what should i do with it. In the first place, i'd already decided to throw it away since the day i found out about you & her, but i could never bear to, thanks to all the fantasies that i once had. Now, all i wanna do is to throw it away too, but i realised i cant bear to still. This time, not because i'm still having fantasies, but because i'm trying to cling on to something which i can still call.................., ours.

I know i'm stupid but i cant help but wish &hope that i've never lost you at all.

Clinging on to has-beens isnt easy, but letting it go isnt any easier too.............

I'm packing up the things now, cuz i cant that the huge rush of memories, the good and the bad,

I loved you. Always did........., &i guess i always will.

Today, could've been our First Year Anniversary.

Happy (Should've been) One Year.........., dear.

2009-09-19T10:48:00.003+08:00

Hahaha helllllo. Went out for lunch with Bestf yesterday at Suntec (!!)

HAHA we stayed at Just Noodles for like 3 hours to eat talk & slack.... :)

We were sitting........... at the exact same spot that i sat in there the first time i went in to eat.

Which was like last year with......... HAHAHA. Nah shan't rmb it anymore.

Talked about alot of things......................... HAHAHAHA.

Wound up walking around for awhile cuz he gotta go off at 4 plus to play bball. :)

Heh, ohhh yes. Was in Toys'R'Us when he started taking pictures of horses when he couldn't find a mouse........ -.- I couldnt find anything hairy/a duck to take a picture of either, damnit.

Here are the pictures then, :)

HAHAHAHA shit this picture is so blurred la dang. I was laughing cuz he looks more hilarious than in the picture. HAHAHA.

Then ya he caused me/us to be so malu in Toy'R'Us laaaaa, shall decline to talk about it LOL.

Yes but overall i've had fun ytd thanks bestf! :D

&WOW i just realised Char/ZeGuang/WeiKian/JieMing was at skygarden/Suntec ytd too!

Was a pity that we didnt meet them, Heh. :)

Yes, its raining now. Just watched Kanye West ruin Taylor Swift's night. Dang.

Gotta start to study sooon, O's are nearing like..... seriously.

Goodbye bye bye bye bye for now. :)

"You think walking away was easy......., yet you never knew how hard each step was.

A girl must've been i fool to have met you, so why did i.

I must've done something right to have had you, and something wrong to have known the real you."

2009-09-18T10:18:00.003+08:00

Okaay wow Blogger finally can post pictures.

Here's the picture i wanted to post in the last postttt. :)

Anyw, Prelims are finally over! Next week is my due date cuz results are coming out.... ):

Haha, hm. I cant dins anything else i wanna say.

But since i'm here today....., Heh.

"Happy Birthday Chee Mei Xuan! (:"

Happy Sweeeeet 16th k ha thanks for........ Always being there to talk crap with me.

To console me thru ups & downs, for sharing stuffs with me & most of all...........,

For being a great friend of mine. Treasure today, hope you'll have fun! Luvvv you. (:

Yes. HAHAHA. Prom night's getting me all excited..........., I hope everyone nice'll go. :)

Off to watch some show online, catch up again.

Lunch with Bestfriend later, cant wait! (:

"Sometimes i wish i could fly away from here............. But i dont wanto too. I will remember you."

2009-09-08T13:19:00.022+08:00

I have given up on trying to post pictures.

Anyw to everyone go watch Time Travellers wife k! Its a very nice show.

The book is even better, in fact.

Just wasted my morning chionging my 命中注定我爱你, ha.

It was nice......., Lol let's all go fantasize now.

HAHAHA. K Time Traveller's Wife FTW (!!!!)

Heh. Offf for tuition now bye luv.

"The Sweet Escape............................ Time is nothing."

(But for me......, time brings a whole new pain of its own. I miss you.)

2009-09-05T12:13:00.000+08:00

Hi i'm here for a short update!

Prelims are getting a lil screwed but, to hell with it.

I shall chiong the rest. (Gasps.)

Anyw BOF tonight! I srsly think i've been watching too much tv!

Been catching 命中注定我爱你 on U channel every night. HAHA its getting exciting!

& i really like the show too. :)

So unrealistic.

But i hope all post-it girls in the world can meet someone that appreciates/loves them!

Ha.........., Omg but ya so unrealistic(!!!!!!)

Rme, heh. K next week's gonna be a week packed with activities!

Monday's reserved for my beloved sister, (:D)

Tuesday/Thursday i've got tuition, Wednesday's off to Ven's house to study!

Friday's out with Bestf to get more studying/work done. :)

Heh its gonna be a fruitful week & let me tell you.

I AM SO GONNNA ACE ALL THE SUBJECTS THAT'LL BE TESTED AFT SEPT HOLS.

I SHALL GO OWN WEIKIAN OR SMT.

haha, wait thats not exactly possible, but ya AIM HIGH! :D

K i'm off to play neopets now, Facebook is just getting boring.

Byeeee! (:

"Its hard to wait around for something you know might never happen,

But its even harder to give up when you know its everything you want."

2009-08-23T16:29:00.000+08:00

ARGH. I cant upload pictures RME.

But anyw everything i wanted to upload's on Facebook. :)

I'm having a great birthday though i'm at home..., but yes.

Thanks to everyone who wished me Happy Birthday k!

I shall do this how i did it last year. :)

I wanna Thank.............,
Mei Xin Gerald CharmaineT WeiJie Zhe Rui Maryann Vendela MingEn Aslyn Melissa Mii Chiang Raymond WeiKian QiYong WeiSeng Ashley Lowell Jordan SweeYan HenryC MeiXuan Colin Reis Anthea SiYing ZeGuang JinYuan Dominic Sharon CharmaineC JiaHong ShouSuan Reynold DongYing HenryW YanNing BryanChong SiewKiong Sherina Toh Wei.

For the birthday Wishes. :)

I wanna Thank Charmaine Aslyn JoLin Benjamin WeiKian JieMing ZeGuang for the beloved BOF DVD! HAHAHHAHA YES I LOVE IT ALOTTTTTT THANKS SO MUCH LUV YOU GUYS LIKE CRAZY. :) I LUV CHARMAINET FOR HER CARD TOOOO. :)

I wanna Thank Bestfriend WeiJie for his Chocolates! :D

I wanna Thank Sheena Lin for her card! :)

Yes I had a celebration with family at Swensens with the free ice-cream HAHAHA. :D

I've had fun, thanks to everyone kkkkkkk. HAHAHA. :)

&for my previous post.

I'm a very happy girl today cuz my simple wish came true.

Let's just name them 1 & 2. Both of them texted me! I was so happy. & i replied both of them.

I expected 2 to reply cuz he texted me first. But he didnt, but its okay. Ya 1 replied when i replied him, which was so unexpected! &both were very friendly. I'm glad none of my friendships had gone out of my life. Well at least they're still my friends & i'm really happy for that!
Special Thanks to both of you for making my day.
I guess 1 will know he's 1, but for 2.......... I think he'll take a longer time to figure that out himself. Well take care the both of you, all the best for Prelims/O's! :D

Well i guess this is it, i'm off to my grams to have dinner & study somemore.

English O level oral tmr........, i hope it'll be an easy question. Thanks & cheerios people! :)

"Some people will still meet no matter how many times they part. Be it as friends/besties/couples."
Thanks for everything. (:

2009-08-19T22:50:00.002+08:00

The best gift i can get for my birthday is simple.
I want a friendly birthday wish from you & you.
That's all. The two people i lost in just a couple of months.
amp;Its the exact same two people i wish were still in my life right now.
That's all i need to keep me grinning for the day.
Is that just too much to ask for?

2009-08-14T21:54:00.000+08:00

Hi Hi i'm here again.
Just so you know, I'm gonna be a Hiatus now.
After all Prelims is one week away, with O's 10 weeks away.
Why havent the school put up that countdown board yetttttt!!!!! ):
Anyw school's been alright i guess. Like...........
Study study & more study?
Its like constant studying laaaaaa, gotta work hard anyw.
Heh! Anyw was Official Handover today! :)
Heh although it wasnt any grand thing but i realised i quite miss some people in Choir.
(Gasps.) Ha, yeah but they're learning a real nice song now!!
Sounds pretty a-okay too. All the best! :)
Was pretty disturbed by thoughts during lunch aha aha......
Pretty nonsensical stuffs though, Rme. But yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I wonder what's wrong with Sec One's these days.
(No actually not generally as a whole, but specifically just one.)
So....................... If you think i'm talking about you, nah its not. Its the other one. (Infer infer.)
I dontknow why i'm affected by what i heard when i dont believe a shit about it. In the first place, its cuz i still trust. I might not be close to him anymore but i know that that wouldn't have come out of his mouth. Is this your way of getting close to the seniors? Tell them something you think they dontknow, &Wow, you're the smart one. Fyi, if you think this helps your gain popularity, you might want to think again. Your actions digusts me. Even if he did say that, you should know that you'll be the last person he would tell. So, just do yourself a favour &take a break from all these shitz/lies, Thank You Very Much. &No, i dont give a shit about what you've been telling others, cuz. What you said/you did, isn't even important at all. Its what i think/do that really matters to myself. I just hope you can get a life before you lose every single friend you have with that attitude of yours. I dont even think you deserve a hello anymore. Bye bitch.
Yes thats all for now, really.
I'll be on Hiatus so dont bother checking here anymore alright.
At least till after Prelims 2. Or maybe i'll blog................. on my birthday.
23rd August people! HAHAHAHAHA hints hints hints. :)

"Some people will still meet no matter how many times they part."

2009-08-07T22:19:00.000+08:00

Hi here for quick update. Reposted the lyrics cuz forgot stuffs.
Anyw schools been crazy hectic blah. I really wanna start serious studying alrd!
Cried the other day while talking to my mum about Dsa Damn, ):
What she says is right i cant deny,......
I cant be confident & tell her, "I WILL get 6/7 points for O's. I dont need Dsa."
Ya but now the Dsa dates are all closed. I mean.
I dont regret not going for the Dsa's, but if my O's sucks, then how?
Ha nah just pouring my sorrows out here suckish.
But nvm, since i dont have a choice of Dsa......, now i gotta really study.
Hahaha tmr, the next day & the next next day.......
Humanities plus unfinished homework, Here I Come. :D
(PS, Friends for sale is lame la omfg. HAHAHA.)
(PSS, My mum just killed me when she saw my bill. I prolly wont message much these days anymore! Byebyebyebye.)
(PSSS i realised, when you pretend to be happy while doing subjects you dont like, mainly for me its humanities. It sets you in the mood. So you'll be more productive! HAHA then your pretend-happiness will become real. AHA! :D)

Song of the day, Goodbye My Almost Lover. :)

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images
No

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should have known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do...........

Byebyebyebyebyebye, HAHAHAHA.
Last year that date we went out as a couple for the very first time.
This year that date, we'll be going out too. Not two of us but with the class, &......, as classmates.

2009-08-02T17:01:00.001+08:00

Hi Hi Hi Hi. :)
Here for a quick update then i'm off out of the house.
O's are really nearrrrr, so is Prelims which is even nearer.
Been more hardworking lately but i dont think that's enough...... ):
HAHAHA gotta keep going! :)
K nothing much to say again, lyrics? Heh heh. :D
I msged you without any hope of getting a reply, but suprisingly you did.
Thanks for replying, i guess that got me thinking & i'm really thinking much clearer now.
Although we cant be lovers, but i guess being friends is more or less the same.
Thanks for talking to me again cuz i realised that talking to someone you cant forget is the best way of forgetting..
Thats for now. Heh.

Its our first hello all over again.
Hi My name is Marilyn, What's yours?
Bye bye bye bye. (:

2009-07-25T14:31:00.004+08:00

HI HI HI I'm here for an update for nothing. HAHA.

Just cut my hair, but no i dont think anyone can see the difference............):

Been growing my nails HAHAHAHAHHAA. :D

Went for self-study yesterday...........................(:

Hohoho, i have nothing to write oh my bloody fucking god.
93 days to O levels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn. Gotta start studying now.

Heh be a bookworm/nerd for 3 and a half months more & i'm free.

Okay BOF tonight, i seeee Jihoo right here right now.

He's actually beside me. Yi Jung's on the left. :D

I'm going crazy. I'm pretty moodless. I feel like dying. I feel like sleeping.

I feel sad. I feel emotionless. I feel.............

I feel like doing absolutely nothing at all.

But no, i'll be doing my homework.

What the hell is happening to me man.

This post is meaningless. Going off now to do something more meaningful.

Bye.

What am i supposed to do, when the best part of me is always you.

2009-07-21T21:59:00.002+08:00

&He said last year, "What i used to do with her, she's doing it with him now. So what do you want me to do?"

Now i say, "What i used to do with him, he's doing it with her now. So what do you want me to do?"

Isn't all these just like Deja vu? Seems like all this is really just all my just desserts, uh?

No more maybe's or what if's. Gotta remind myself of that.

I'm happy you're motivated, i hope you do well. And..................

I miss you.

But all's gone.

No matter how many fantasies/hopes i hold on to.

Its gone.

Zilch,

HAHAHAHA omg outburst again. Bestf might kill me. (...............................):)

Back to the books &tv, ha ha ha ha keep me entertained bye luv.

2009-07-18T20:51:00.003+08:00

HAHAHA Bestf will prolly kill me for like posting this. Will he?

Lol nah, heh heh no i'm not emo pleaseeeeee. :D:D:D:D:D

Havent blogged in the longest time! Ha ha ha.
School's been pretty a-okay these days aha been focusing much more.

Joined the self-study thing, will be attending it twice a weeek!

Heh stayed back in school to study myself on Friday &accomplished alot :)

& HAHAHA omg lol i didnt know RuiJing was.............. An oldie.

HAHAHA he even knows who my uncle is, that is just so....... unexpected.
Ha! Anyw i really have nothing much to say these days! Nothing much to fill up this darn space.

I'll use lyrics instead............, HAHAHA. :)

Actually wanted to post lyrics of 'Already Gone' by Kelly Clarkson.... But. Nah.
(How can i ask someone who's alrd moved on to move on when i havent even moved on myself.................................? What irony.)

If You're Not The One- Daniel Bedingfield.

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?

If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?

If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?

If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings

But I know you're here with me now

We'll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand

If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?

If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?

If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?

If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away

But I know that about this much is true

We'll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with

And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with

I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand

If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away

And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today

'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right

And though I can't be with you tonight

You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms....................

Aha aha BOF is showing now....................., Heeeee. :D

Done with post now......, Threads of Destiny next week! Luv. :D

2009-07-11T11:41:00.003+08:00

"Like a rainbow, fading in a twinkling of an eye. Gone too soon."

I love this line, dontknow why. Oh well.

Been practising self-control & not going to places i'm not supposed to go online.....:D

HAHA oh well read my mind, read my mind.

Nothing much to blog, but ya i just came across a blog........, & i feel not-so-nice. ):

Hey you, I guess all i can say is there is really no need for sorry's cuz really, nobody blames you at all for anything. I guess i can admit i really didnt like you at first cuz of what happened but now, we both know everything is cleared up. In the first place, you dont have to say any sorry's at all cuz for one, you didnt even know i existed at that point of time. So thats enough for you to avoid saying sorry to me. &, you werent the one who made me cry/destroyed the relationship/cut into the relationship. So here's another point for you to not say a single sorry to me. I dont see the point of you apologising on other's behalf cuz you thought that you were the third party. I would have gone for the guy i liked if i thought he was single too. Besides, i guess even without your existance, things were going downhill already anyway. So....., i dont want to hear/see any sorry's from you on your blog regarding this cuz you really shouldn't be feeling this way, alright. Hope this clears up every single thing. Cheerup, dont keep harping on this alrd. (:

That was long. This is starting to seem like a very normal post, does it.

Well, i guess i've lost my passion for blogging cuz i cant really find anything to stuff into this place.

Anyway, 15 weeks to O levels & i havent even been studying like i should be.

I guess its time........... to study.

After all, i really wanna reach my aim ya? Heh. Will be happy no worries, i am happy now anyw.

K shall resist not typing in puzzles today before Maryann kills me.

Random thought.................... I wonder when will i break my self-control, aha aha.

(Read my mind luv, read my mind.)

“如果你不爱一个人，请放手，好让别人有机会爱他。如果你爱的人放弃了你，请放开自己，好让自己爱别人。有的东西你在喜欢也不会属于你的，有的东西你在留念也注定要放弃。人生中有许多钟爱，但别让爱成为一种伤害。”

Gotta go rush my hmk now. Bye.
-
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-
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Can't help but think back, but no. I'll be practising my self-control. Until O levels. That's all the time i've got. Bye.

2009-07-05T15:19:00.003+08:00

4 consecutive days of chicken rice. Me & dearie owns you manz.
Yeah school's reopened, its time to study again! ): 16 weeks to O levels omfg.
HAHAHAHA. oh well study, lorrrrrrrrrr.
Random thought.......... Maybe i'll find a new guy to fall in love with, then dump him after a week.
(HAHAHAHA. Maybe i will. Maybe next week you'll see me with a new boyfriend. &the next week i'll be single all over again. Ooooops?)
Oh well, better dont accept me as a girlfriend in the near future then...... HAHAHAHA.
K have beeeeen texting Best ~~(Male)~~ Friend pretty often these days ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Been teaching him Loveeeee story too he's getting the hang of it alrd. (:D)
Random though number 2........ I wanna go to a beach now, alone.
HAHAHA sit there emo here emo there, see the waves, feel the wind, cry abit, then HAHHA.
Oooops. Oh well, like i said, its a random thought.
K lah nothing to say alrd......... Shoule i go over to WeiKian's 大老婆's house to study tmr?
Hehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh crazy liao.
Tag replies another day, i'm lazy! :D
Where's my Ji Hoooooo (boohooooo.):)
"No 'person you like' anyway."...................................................................................):

-
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Best ~~(Male)~~ Friend asked me, "What do you want your relationship with him be?"
Thought about it........., i want to be great friends with him. Just like before. Just like how i am with Best ~~(Male)~~ Friend now.
Btw, no i am not talking about L. HAHAHA not everything ): has to do with him you know.
(The time has come, i know you're done with us. I will be too.)

2009-06-29T22:33:00.003+08:00

TRANSFORMERS TODAYYYYY WAS GREAT ITS TOTALLY WORTH, GO WATCH!

HEH HEH OOOOOOPS I'M CRAZY NOW, ON THE INSIDE.

I REALLY AM........................., HAHAHAHAHAHA.

SEEEE. JUST THAT, I DONTKNOW, I DONT HAVE ANY EXPRESSION ON MY FACE?!

OOOOOPS SEEE, TOLD YOU I'M CRAZY.

TIME TO GO EAT MEDICINE ALRD LAHHH HAHAHAHA, MEGAN FOX IS THE HOT!

MORE MOVIE DATES, ANYONE? HEH.

(:D)(:D)(:D)(:D)(:D)(:D)(:D)(:D)(:D)(:D)(:D)(:D)

Everything i do means something. Take notice, & maybe you'll find something.

(Try to figure out when i'm not fake. Then you'll see. HAHAHAHA. Maybe that line up there is a lie too.)

2009-06-25T14:55:00.003+08:00

HIHIHIHI i'm back. No emotional outburst here though, HAHA.

Been crazily wasting my time at home, i'm feeling super guilty.

Cant wait for school to reopen, at least i dont watse time there.

Right, first things first..............!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASAPH LEH! :D

Heh big big just for you. Be honoured alright.

K, i'm just plain lazy to blog.

Besides, i'm halfway through ep 24 of my Boys over Flowers.

I really luvvvvv my Jihoooo. Hmmm, cant another Jihoo just magically appear?

(Then i hear Ven screaming at me, 'IT WONT COME TRUE ITS JUST A SHOW!')

Then, my hopes are dashed. Damn it lah. HAHAHAHA.

Tag replies again, i have a habit of not replying tags on tag board these days omfg.

Ven: HAHAH I LIKE THE MV TOO SO CUTEEEEE!! LOL

HAHAHA YAY LUVVVVVV! (:

Ven: I AM WAITING FOR YOUR CALL RIGHT NOW!

HAHAHA called youuuuuu alrd luv!

Ven: HI I WANT A JUNPYO TOO!!!!!! SO WE CAN SEARCH TGTTTTTTTTTT!D CHEER UP UP UP I KNOW U WANNA WATCH THE MOVIE UP! LOL

This is definately the first time i'm replying so many of your tagggs! OMG! HAHAHA. K let's go search together. HAHAHAHA, JIHOOOOOOOO. <3

CHAR: Zomg do you rmbr which day do we have to go back for geog!? LOL!

HAHAHA DONT NEED ALRD, O:

CHAR: Chicken ahole, wlaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo its giving me the shivers

Chill, talk to you about it again in school!

CHAR: Hey hope you're okay!!!!! Don't care about her, dont bother about her existence just go eeeeew

HA, like i said, talk about it again in school! (:

CHAR: Hahaha exactly la, I'm thinking for you when I dont tell you anyth! But yea, thanks too (: LOL Erin funny laaaaaaa. You cheeer too (:

HAHAHA THEN ITS TIME TO TELL ME STUFFFS! ): FEELS SO FAR AWAY WHEN I DONT KNOW ANY SHIT! ): hahaha will do, :D

zherui: heya sis! hows ya june hols? i heard got extend due to h1n1?

Okay lor. heh. I'm so glad they dont extend it. HAHA i'm rotting.

`WEIJIE: HEY HEY HEY CHEER AH.

HAHAHA HEH.

SY: cheer up! =)

hm, ha k.

mii chiang: okay. and the post is touching,I am sorry.

Nothing to be sorry about, (:

(: back: okay..thank you. and yea i'm back le. (:

HAHA, thank you instead.

(: back: nah! is okay...but after those msg i really felt much better. ha so got to THANK YOU! hah

Heh, same. (:

Mingen: woah she's my gf now! LOOL. okay eh you take care uh,//. There's always more than a tree in the forest//There's always more than a fish in the sea// ((: tc

Oh puhlease, she's not yours. Thanks anyw, (:

MX: HAHAHAH! Eeew, wheeeee. Gross gross gross??

Go roll your eye lahhhh. HAHAHAHA.

Mei Xuan: Hey girl. Hope you're all right. Take care! (:

I will be. Heh thanks see you! (:

z-: Forget about the past, coz what you can change, is the future. Z-

Thanks, will remember that. (:

-
-
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-
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One, you're like a dream come true.
Two, just wanna be withayou.
Three, cuz its plain to see. That you're the only one for me and.
Four, repeat steps one to three.
Five, make you fall in love with me.
Whenever i feel that my work is done, then i'll start again at one........................

2009-06-22T16:22:00.003+08:00

I want a JiHoo in my life.

I want him to always be around when i need a shoulder to lean on.

You were but arent anymore. Korean Dramas is a great excuse to cry.

That's it, bye now.

2009-06-20T15:03:00.003+08:00

I can still be happy.
I just need to focus on a dream, instead of a regret that i'll never forget.
Since its a regret i shouldn't keep thinking of what would've been different if i did it the right way.
Since its a regret, there's no turning back.
Since its a regret, there's nothing left to do to change it.
Since its a regret.........................., i should forget.
So, Why do i bother to check up on your status everytime i'm online.
Or why do stuffs keep popping up &i hate you, for the flings &all.
Then again, why did i have to find out?
Why do i still cling on to the loose strands of lost love when i know its just a pile of memories?
Why do i know that all i have to do is forget you to be even happier but i don't do what i say?
Why do i even still care after all that i've found out?
Why do i still miss you every single day?
Why do i still put on a fucking smile when i know i just want to cry?
Why do i act as if i really can take seeing you, when i cant?
Why?

Baby, i sort of wished we never happened.
Then again, i sort of wished we never ended.
It feels as if someone has reached into my chest & pulled out my heart again, everyday.
That ends here now.

2009-06-18T11:08:00.003+08:00

Its been 4 months and 4 days.

"If only the dictionary doesnt have the word 'should have' & 'what if', then people wont start to regret."

Nah, Marilyn doesn't want to do emo anymore. Cheers!

Tag replies here now........,

CHAR: Hahah yeah! Why are you telling me life is beautiful!?! TELL YOURSELF FIRST LAAA You need it more than me ;]

HAHAHA cuzzz. Lolll. Like that lor whoo.

CHAR: Lol I didnt realise your tagboard was jutting out........

It was?!?! I didnt realise tooo la, heh! :D

CHAR: I FINISH MY HMK MWAHAHA

Wlao, i'm finishing soooon! HAHAHAHA.

CHAR: Like since friday hahaha ;D And You Belong With Me reminds my of zeguang!!!

Nah how can, the song so nice!? ZeGuang is like........ HAHAHA. :D

z-: O.o ur extension week last for a week only. Mine is twice of urs Z-

Heh but should be over alrd right, (:

`WEIJIE: Hello hello!! Heh heh thanks for teachings (again, xmillions) and the song!! Heh heh. Tuition ah.........HA HA HA.

Haha no prob, Lolllll.

`WEIJIE: Wow okay okay you tagged my blog. HA HA HA K study together and teach me again thanks.

Heh yesyes study dates sooon please? :D

MX: HAHAH, Roll some more, drop out then you know too! Ooops, O.O Oh man, I see it! Hahahah, cheerios ok. See you soon, Lufffff ♥

HAHAHA saw you alrd. Teeheeee. Luv! :D

johnny: eloooeeeee

Helllllo who's this?

S!Y!NG: ahahas. weijie is thanking lyk hell man.i tink u mus be frustrated more dan welcomed.LOLs. n i saw him practicing dat day worhh.u hav a diligent disciple(x

Haha yes he's very hardworking heh. (:

S!Y!NG: hey, TAGGED (x cheers!

Haha, cheeers too. (:

Jolin: elloooo! why ytd never come w us. o.0 haha. hope to see you sooooon zomg! cant wait for school to start again, HAHA byeeeee (((((((((:

See you then, (:

Jolin: heyyy! hahahaha, i've never done holiday hmwk before also!!!! (:

HAHAHA Hi-5 man(z) wooots! :D

shousuan: jiayou jiayou! ^^ cheers, Marilyn!

Ahahaha thanks! You too ahhhh. :D

shousuan: tee hee! we will! ^_^

HAHA i trust that you will? :D

mii chiang<3:>

ahaha hey! (:

Chinyu: Hey marilyn cheerup ok! And all the best for your exams etc I heard u did well for prelims 1 <:

Hahaha, okay lah. Thanks alot Misssss you! (:

Mingen: TAYLOR SWITF IS HOT (((: lool

HAHAAHA oh please. LOL. Its SWIFT btw! Lol.

2009-06-15T14:15:00.007+08:00

HAHAHA i luv this music vid............., dontknow why. (:

Hey, haha. Back after a long while!
Anyway HAHAAH EBO! I'll show you the pictures (Korean &all) another time!
Its so weird to post it up! HAHAHA.
Anyway, its into the third week of June Holidays! Fast eh, (Running out of time!)
Its crazy, been trying to finish up my hmk!
Pretty much done, left with 2 Chem papers & Geog. Its quite a feat for me alrd though.
I've never finished my June hmk ever before. Oh wells.
YES time to blog about outings &all.........

Hmm been busy last week, Out with my Sister on Mon.
Tuesday was just Tuition. Wednesday was studying in school with WeiJie/Char.
Thursday was outing with ... (HAHA i'm not allowed to say!) Then Math tuition.
Friday was outing with Mei Xin! (Pictures on facebooooook.)
Saturday was the bomb man(Z), i did like hmk the whole day?!
Breakthrough like whooooo. (:D)
LUV OUTINGS LETS GO OUT SOMEMORE!
MOVIE DATEEEEES .../WeiJie/Char/MeiXin/Ven! HAHAHA.
Okay time to go back to studying omfg, I Am becoming a nerd! :D

"Challenge yourself all the days of your life."
(Ps, I Love You.)

2009-06-04T16:35:00.003+08:00

I'm random & bored now, zzz. Nothing much to blog about,):
Hmmm yes i've been teaching WeiJie Love Story on Piano for these 2 days!
Heh He's pretty fast lah heh. Cooool just hope he remembers. :D
Ah extension weeks gonna be over, Holidays'll be here.
But yes constant studying/study date(s) Alrighty! (:
Ohhhhkay for everyone who's not studying hard, (you)
Its time to already alright.
(You know you can, I know you can do it. Its whether you want to or not. Put your mind to it. I know i cant do much anymore, but i hope you'll really start studying and all, i mean, at least do your best. Your best, is far better than what you're doing now. You know it. Please dont give up on yourself..)

It was just few days ago.........,
I wanted to call you so badly to tell you i missed you so so much. But everytime i thought about how you treated me, i just told myself that maybe i'll be better off without you. (Will i?) You know till now i still cant believe that you could actually hurt me this much, I thought i relly knew you & that you loved me too much to ever make me sad. Guess i was wrong. I wish we could go back to the first month that we were together. We were so much in love and so happy then, well thats what i felt. Thinking about how we're never ever gonna talk anymore, and actually experiencing it now really breaks my heart. But i suppose all good things comes to an end, & i suppose this is our end. I just want to say thanks for all the memories, the good and the bad. I've learnt alot from our relationship. Till now, i can really say that you are the one boy, and only boy that i have ever loved so much. But now i know, the next time i wont put too much feelings into a relationship cuz its gonna hurt so much at the end. You dont know how heartbroken i still am right now, i miss you so much i really do. I know through our relationship i've not been the best girlfriend. I'm sorry. Our love probably isn't strong enough to go thru all the ups and downs. I'm really so reluctant to let you go, thats why i held on when you stopped talking to me in January, thats why i'm still holding on although we haven't talked for 5 months. Every little thing reminds me of you. Every song with lyrics you sent/we sang, everywhere we went, everytime i step into my room &see that box with the swan &all your little little presents. I remember every single thing we did, & remember everytime that we spent together. I still have so many things i wanto to tell you but i really cant bear to continue writing on. My tears are flowing like crazy thinking about the past. But, you'll always have a place in my heart, no matter what. PS, I Love You.
When will i stop feeling so lost, &decide what to do.....?

2009-05-31T14:20:00.002+08:00

Helllllo yes im back for another, quick update!
Anyw June holidays are here time passes really fast, &my results are still..... ):
Yes i need more study dates & study dates &more study dates!
Extension week next week O level Chinese on Monday.
All the best to all the people taking it on Monday alrighty! (:
I......... cant think of anything to update on!
Heh most of the things happening now are so insignificant lah, ):
Sec 4 life is boring. I need some excitement sooon hahaha where's EBO! Lol.
Alrighty really nothing much to say anymore la wlao i think i lost my passion for blogging.):
Right catch up again, Say hi to me in school for a chat, or whatever ways you can think of.

Is Tuesday's lunch still on? ):

"The rain just never seems to bring
The joy, I feel the same
Everlasting pain of my loss remains
My heart, can't seem to learn to part
The hold you left the mark
All that I dreamed of now it seems so scarce
Though I told myself to hold my breath
A part of me was dying
There is nothing left for me to do now, but give in.

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't, live my life without you
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and you'd know I'd never let you go.

The way, you left me on the train
I don't know what to say
I remember everything that day
I can't believe we'd never dance
I just need one more chance
To share the sunset our one last romance

Though I told myself to hold my breath
A part of me was dying
There is nothing left for me to do now, but give in.

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me, one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and you'd know
I'd never let you go."
(Been reading my archives, &so many things that we've gone thru, but i dont think any of it matters to you, not anymore. ): )

2009-05-29T16:06:00.006+08:00

Omg i realised i havent blogged in the longest time aha.
K this is just for replies lahhh alrighty before it gets too much then i die.

jordan: Aiyo auntie ar auntie LOL.
Aiyo Uncle ah uncle. LAWL.

JOLIN: wth! Describe 8 .Weird, she's one who drinks water everynow & then during exams like she's got plenty of time.?!?!?! LOL!!!!!!! so evil so evil so evil zomg
HAHA I'm not evil its true. Somemore can scores so well, wth. O: Chaota.

S!Y!NG: hey! tags once again.hahas. was results pleasing? mine was sorta SCREWED.=.= lols.
Hahaha mine was pretty okay. The ones that were screwed were really bad, but the ones that were good were really good. So like both extremes lah heh.

ANGIE !: YO senior.TAGGED.saw you ytd. ;D
HAHA i didnt see you though! ):

mii chiang<3:umm nope thats why....he is form other level de....):
mii chiang<3: hey friend. umm hope we can still be friend after those conversation. GOOD LUCKS!
Yeah we are lah heh, thanks.(:

`WEIJIE: KRIS ALLEN KRIS ALLEN OMG HE ROCK. I still think he rock even tho it's like Saturday alrdy. HA HA HA
`WEIJIE: Hey! Cheer up and smile k. Rmber ABT HA.
`WEIJIE: Hey yeah. Phew I was not linked (aw) HA HA HA Heh cheerup stay strong k. Make us proud!
Yeah KRIS ALLEN! I will lah, ABT heh. I will make you proud, (sooooon!)

CHAR: Hahaha i think your blog is getting funnier laaaa ;D
HAHAHA START LAUGHING AT IT LAH, HAHA!

stead.: Sup!
WASSUP.

Mx: Hi Cheng!:D roll my eyes ya, hahaha. Cheers okk!(((:
Dont rolls eyes lah, later your eyes drop out. O:

yinghuiELF: Marilyn I admire you for still being nice to those rookies hahaha
yinghuiELF: Anyway after reading that blog is like.. Oh my.
Ahhhhhh chill i'm already okay, so everyone should be :D tooooo! (: Oh well, thats life!

Anyw yes i'm rushing for time! (As usual,) So update more another timeeee! (:
"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."

Thanks a millionxzxz EBO. :D
(I'm still so lost in my thinkings of the past, the present &the future. I'll never know what'll happen, just like how i didnt expect that coming. I really need time to figure out how to deal with this new emotional shitz thing that is constantly on my mind. I'll never know if you really did that, or it was a moment of folly or whatever shitz excuse. I never thought i'd have to face this situation, especially not from you. But now that i have to...., it sucks. Everything used to be so clear, to wait, &maybe things can get back to normal. But now, i dont know what i want to do. Can i deal with this on my mind, or should i just let you go. Then again, even if i want to let go, can i do it? I've got my limits & i feel so coooped up i really dont know when i'll explode, breakdown &cry until i can never cry again. Until then..........., i'd just have to take things one step at a time.)

2009-05-16T14:56:00.002+08:00

Argh was tagged to do quiz by Zeguang/Tan JoLin.

Tagged to do quiz.
1. Vendela
2. Charmaine Teo
3. Ashley
4. Maryann
5. Asaph
6. Aslyn
7. Wei Jie
8. Tan Jo Lin (although she's the one that tagged me-.-)

1. Beside your lips , where is the favourite spot to get kissed?
Cheeks?

2. How do you feel when you woke up this morning?
Sucky.

3. Who was the last person you took a photo with? last time?
Maryann/Ashley/Vendela.

4. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
Hmm a little.

5. Would you ever donate blood ?
Guess so.

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex ?
Had, yeap.

7. Do you want someone dead ?
Nah.

8. What does your last text message say ?
Ok. So i plan with you la k? How do you want the amazing race to be like? Like find items or what?

9. What are you thinking of right now ?
Proposals for camp &.....

10. Do you wish someone was with you right now ?
Yeah.

11. What time did you go to sleep last night ?
12am.

12.Where did you buy the T-shirt you are wearing now ?
My primary school.

13. Is someone on your mind right now ?
Yeap.

14. Who was the last person to text you ?
Ashley.

15.Who is 3 having a relationship with?
Me, we're married.

16. Is 2 a male or a female ?
Female .

17. If 7 and 8 get together will that be a good thing ?
HAHAHA it wouldnt even be possible.

18. What is 1 studying about ?
Uh same combi as me?

19. Is 4 single ?
Guess so.

20. Say something about 5.
Retarded.

21. What do you think about 3 and 6 together ?
Wow i didnt know they were les.

22. Describe 8 .
Weird, she's one who drinks water everynow & then during exams like she's got plenty of time.

23. What will you do if 6 and 7 fought?
HAHA help none.

24. Do you like 4 ?
Duh, (:

Great i'm done with that heh.
Caught Angels & Demons with Vendela on Thursday heh.
Although some parts were gory but yeah super story which keeps you excited the whole time. Went to VJC's choir concert on Thursday night too, heh was great.
Had a haircut yesterday, but seriously i dont think there was any difference HA.
Yeah not really a haircut, i just trimmed my hair.
Or maybe its cuz my hair is too long, so when i cut off like 1 inch it doesnt show Lol.
Been crazy over Boys Over Flowers which is gonna air, TONIGHT on Channel U (Yay!)
HAHAHA thinking about it makes me grin already teehee.
Oh & finals for American Idol, KRIS ALLEN &ADAM LAMBERT!
DID YOU HEAR KRIS'S ACOUSTIC OF HEARTLESS OMFG LUV HIM TO BITS. :D

I'm busy trying to type out a choir camp's proposal that i dont even wanto go to.
Whats the point of a camp when:
-You cant have a night walk.
-You cant stay overnight cuz the schools worried about H1N1 flu.
-You leave at ten from school only to come back at 6 the next morning, then leave school by 3.30 to go to Suntec to sing for the school's anniversry dinner.
Wow i am SO excited for this shit. Thanks alot.

Anyway who cares i'm gonna do my part &it wouldnt surprise me if my porposal got rejected, cuz, (OH) "We have to practise the whole time for the schools anniversary dinner so, no time for Amazing Race at all. "
(Then i'll go, seeeee i told you.)

Catch up with everyone on Monday, Debriefs reaching zzz. Hope everyone,(you)will do well.(:

2009-05-09T15:14:00.002+08:00

Helllllllo world.
Prelims beeeen super draining esp all the humanities!
But i'm glad they're all overrrr whew.
Chemistry is a gonerrrr ): Sucks uh, zz.
But its okay! AHAHAHA ~~peh~~/EBO says to continue to work harder!
HAHAHA motivate me somemore! I think it actually works heh! :D
Physics & A math next weeek and then prelims are over!
One step nearer to o's! ): & one step nearer to graduation! ): Awww. ):
Anyw be happpy Adam Lambert & Krissssssss on American Idol.
(Go figure, they're the hots.)

I'm starting to get lost in the world of oldies, like currently now its Westlife. O:
So shall post lyrics some other day, Go go listen to the song by them called "Smile!"
& go watch the movie, "The Lake House!"
Super unrealistic, i think that kind of guys don't exist in real life anymore but its still nice! HAHA.
Go watch, relaxzxzxz & dont get stressed up by Prelims!
Off to search for songs & movies & study Physics!
(Holding on to yesterday, far far too long. I'll make up my mind to forget about you. Hope it actually works this time.)

2009-05-03T12:02:00.003+08:00

Caught this on my sister's blog & thought it was..... yeah.
HAHAHA. Gotta go study now so, bye & all the best everyone! (:

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be.
There's no time limit, stop whenever you want.
You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing.
We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it.
And I hope you see things that startle you.
I hope you feel things you never felt before.
I hope you meet people with a different point of view.
I hope you live a life you're proud of.
If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

Along the way you bump into people who make a dent on your life.
Some people get struck by lightning.
Some are born to sit by a river.
Some have an ear for music. Some are artists.
Some swim the English Channel.
Some know buttons.
Some know Shakespeare.
Some are mothers.
And some people can dance.

Do i know who i am or what do i want?

This is....... yeah. Go read my mind & fill in the blanks.
Social studiessssss here i come, Saddam Hussein omfg.

2009-05-02T16:26:00.002+08:00

Omg i feel so not accomplished.
Argh i'm watching American idol now waiting for Adam Lambert to sing omg.
& Kris is definately cuteeeee man(z)
I think i neeeeeeed to go back to my books! HAHAHA.
Okay actually i've nothing to say i'm just random. O:
&anyw, thanks to EBO(!) Heh, jiayou too alrighty, (:
I just keep thinking how if we were still together, (Happily) then right now i would be so much more motivated to study, because i would want to be the motivation for you to study. Then if i were to study now i bet i'd be smiling to myself like a siaotingtong thinking of you, how lucky i was to be in love with the nicest guy in the world, (At least that was what it was/what i felt last year.) rather than having the book in front of me now, but trying so hard to resist myself from thinking of you, of the happy memories, of the gool old times, so that i can finally start to study. I wonder when can i finally put you to the back of my mind & start focusing on my studies.....?): I guess this is really like what MeiXin says, i'll move on with my life but my heart'll stay put with you. This sucks, i need a break from you, i really really do. But the question is, how?
"Till the day i let you go, till we say our next hello its not goodbye."
I think i wrote this in some post sometime back ago.
The next time i see you & we make eye contact, i'm gonna smile & say hello. I hope you'll say hello back too. I guess since its been over for so long it doesnt make sense to stay as strangers right? So i'm gonna make the first move, cuz i know we can still be friends and very good ones at that. But i think once we say hello, its finally goodbye. See you around, friend. &all the best for Prelims.(:

2009-04-26T14:46:00.002+08:00

Argh been alil pissed with myself these days.
Prelims are like next week i so know im supposed to study, i have that sense of urgency,
but i just dont seem to let the urgency happen.
I stare at my textbooks like i never learnt the english language before & thus i totally dont understand a shit about what the textbook is writing.
Or i'll think of some crap excuse like im tired/sleepy/hungry/bored.
Procrasinateeeee, (There's always a tomorrow what.)
But then i know, i reallly know that there isnt gonna be so many tomorrow's left.
I know if i start studying seriously now i'll totally reach my aim, but if i dont i can just go die or smt.
Where the heck did my longer attention spam go to.......?!?!?!
I neeeeed to start focusing................. ):

Tag repliessssss from long ago.

zhe rui: haha! sure thing! but keep it to saturdays? =D
zherui: boo!
Hahaha, okay settle! (:
BOO BACK @ YA! :D

CHAR: Sorry no hugs for you! D; You know me, I not touchy ah ;x But yeah, support support support for you although no hugs! :D
CHAR: Stop looking back! Move on! And get well soooooon!
CHAR: Wlao I today damn lonely okayyyyyyyyy ;(
Heh, its okay! You ah must learn to give me hugs! :D
HAHAHA i am trying lorrrrrrrrr i want hugs!
I'll be back on Monday wheee hahah i misssed all of you! ):

jolin: hehehe(:
jolin: heeeez./ no prob, and i got give you hugs! D:
Yesyes i want more hugs! & ZAC EFRON! :D
HAHAHA. :D

ANGIE !: hellos chio bu1erm..no,miichiang is not one of the four random girls.heehee/
Re-ed at your blog! (:

passer-by: e one u love must be a very lucky guy=)
Heh, depends who's looking at it right! Ty anyw, (: Who's this? :D

J I M: hello >) link!
J I M: haha im psychic luh. can't help it lol.
J I M: and yea! adam ofcourse. haha
Hey long lost bestf! Hahaha hows your jelly-fish bite? Hope you're okay :D
Psychic? yeah sure haha, ADAM LAMBERT WHOO! :D

passerbyx): haha okay lurh tell you my name. i am mii!!!!
passerbyx): and i think you already know lor haha ;D anyway tagged!
Aha, yes i thought it was you. Well hello then, (:

passerby x): get well soon friend :)
Hey i dont know if this is still Mii Chang or someone else! HAHA yes but ty! (:

-sI yIng-: yos~ tagtag.lucks for exams!x)
Hey hello ty! (:

z-: New hairstyle, new beginning. Jiayous for prelims and gratz on your gold! Z-
z-: Get well Z-
Haha, not new hairstyle lah heh its back to norm! But thanks! (:
Thanks yes im better now! (:

sy: faster get well!!!!!! =) =)
sy: and nb la.. i still damn du lan over them.. =.=
HAHA why still so dulan, chill they're just a bunch of childish losers, O: HAHA. &i'm better alr!

Right i'm finally done! (:
Offf to finish off my cough med. Someone motivate me somemoreee please.
Would my wait be futile? Would you still love me after the o's? Should i wait or should i not?
What if you've moved on already? This sucks when i get indecisive cuz i never ever get any definate answer from you. "I guess so.." Doesn't give me much to comprehend cuz the word guess is a very indefinate word. Argh making decisions sucks. What the freaking hell in the world am i even thinking about this at this point of time, sucks uh. -.-

2009-04-24T18:05:00.002+08:00

Missed school today cuz got the fever again in the morning, ):

Oh well slept the day away though.

Anyw effing pissed what the hell some effing imposters on facebook?!?!?!

Get a life la, oh & to anyone out there.

If a "Merilyn Cheng/Colin Neo/Ashley Tan" adds you on facebook, With our picture as dp, just ignore.

What losers-.-

Seems like anyone in the world cares but you.

2009-04-19T22:11:00.002+08:00

Beeen crazily busy today with family & phototaking!

HAHAHA i totally curled my hair today i think i loook weird.

Dont worry though its temporary. :D

ANYW HIGHLIGHT OF TODAY'S POST IS CHOIR GOT GOLD!

HAHAHA LUV THEM ALLL TO BITS, PICTURES ON FACEBOOOK.

WATCHED 17 AGAIN ON 17TH APRIL, :D

Zac Efron is stillll my no. 1 luv! :D

Super effffffffing hot/cute/handsome.

(:D) GO MEGAWATT GRINS.

Cip on Saturday all the way at tampines, crazily had fun with ZuXiang.

Yeah sure, that ang moh guy definately was making love the night before HAHA.

&Oh boy, playground is definately the best place to..............

HAHA i'm not going to a playground anytime sooooon man(z).

Pictures pictures on facebooooook! Class photo taking tmr heh heh, :D

Catch up with you guys again soon.

Tan Jo Lin & Dearie! HAHAHA thanks alrighty although no hugs for me. (:

Caught this at someone's blog im sorry forgot who, but ty let me kope! :D

For people who are.................

Not so single,

Love isn't about becoming somebody else's 'perfect person'.

It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

Heartbroken,

Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut deep as you allow them to go.

The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

Naive,

How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, and get hurt but never keep the pain.

Searching,

True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. Love is magic. The more we hide it, the more it shows. The more you suppress it, the more it grows.

Playboy and girl,

Never say I love you if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if they aren't there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never look in the eye when what you do is lie. The most cruel thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall.

Possessive,

It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else, but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

Afraid to confess,

Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

Still holding on,

A sad thing about life is that when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and we just have to let go.

Single,

Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it would come to you when you least expect it. Love can make you happy but often times it hurts, but love's only special when you give it to someone who is worth it. So take your time and choose the best!

This totally makes sense, (:
"My ideal partner.......... Loves me more than i love him, but yet i too, love him more than he loves me."

You did, i did. You tried, so did i. I guess that ends here..........., friend.

(Who knows, we could still be the best of friends. Thanks for everything too.)

2009-04-16T21:50:00.003+08:00

"Everybody's got something they had to leave behind

One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time

There's no use looking back or wondering

How it could be now or neither been

All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

Somewhere in my memory I lost all sense of time

And tomorrow can never be'

Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind

There's no use looking back or wondering

How it should be now or neither been

Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

You'll always be the dream that fills my head

Yes you will, say you will, you know you will, baby

You'll always be the one I know I'll never forget

There's no use looking back or wondering

Because love is a strange and funny thing

No matter how I try and tryI just can't say goodbye

No no no no

I never had a dream come true
Till that day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where love takes me to
A part of me will always be with you."

My smile is my make up ever since my breakup with you.

SYF I want that Gold alll the best Whooooooooooo!:D

2009-04-11T20:53:00.003+08:00

Hello world i'm back & bored.

Schools been shag i've been so effing shag i think choir's draining me out totalllllly.

But then again it'll be over next Friday &i want that Goldd. ):

I've been so stressed out these days, my grades &all the failures & all, then comes choir &lack of sleep cuz i never have enough time to actually finish my work, more say have time to study for my prelims. I think i'm so stressed out i can prolly breakdown anytime in classs! ):

Dearie must get ready tissue for me laaaa. O:

Anyhoo, Physics /Chemistry test was okay i guess i'm praying i pass HAHA esp. for Chemistry cuz i didnt have my notes,,,,,,,, ):

But i think can laaaa heh. Tuition's been pretty helpful too, other than the bimbo's thats so annoying omfg effing childish lah. Wait hahaha make sense cant call them bimbo's, cuz they're not even pretty enough. :D

Wushu competition's ending! HAHA Awwwww but heh they can end wushu training alr shuang.

I think it'll be weird not having choir practices anymore, it might feel kinda empty.

Anyway, i should go study for Geog test next week, but i think tonights gonna be futile. ):

K off to study alrighty byee. (:

You know last night i had the craziest dream, i never knew/thought i would even dream about these things. Dont even ask me why but i dreamt that you got stabbed right in front of my face, the details & all. I started to cry in my sleep until something jolted me out of bed & i realised it was all a dream. But i couldn't stop crying cuz it was so real i really thought it was real. I really wanted to pick up the phone & call to see if you were alright, but it was 3 am in the morning, & besides even if i did call, i dont think you'll pick up my phone. So i just sat there, i thought about you and everything and just cried till i stopped.....

I see you smiling around your friends & i realise i smile too when i see your smile, but then stop smiling to myself when i start to think about the times when those smiles were actually directed to me. Its been a real long itme since you gave me a smile. Everytime we accidentally make eye contact, i would tell myself to stare into your eyes longer. But then when it really happens i look away as fast as i can because i know, if i looked into your eyes for a second longer i'll start crying because too many flashbacks will appear in my mind. Every single text that you send & i kept, i dont even need to read it to remember it cuz i can remember every single one, i've read it countless times that it just comes to me oh so natuarally.

"I love you dear. My heart & soul will always be with you. Just like how the alphabets L and M will always be beside each other forever."

Mine was and still is with you. Do you still remember? Do you still care? Do you still love me? Or am i just daydreaming all over again. I wonder if you'll ever see this.....): I love you baby, i really still do........

I neeed to studyyyy. ):

2009-04-05T21:40:00.001+08:00

Hey hi i'm back for quick updates again!

HAHA yes yes i think i'm gonna request for pump whoooooo!

By the looks of my results i can jolly well go jump down the building already can! ):

HAHAHA yay go train to become a nerd to score in everything whoo!

Oooooops i think i'm having a sugar rushhhhhhh, (toooo much chocolates!)

Yes anyone up for study dates! I wannnna studyyyyy! Go become a bookwormmm laa.

Rightttt random post i'm bored & i want more chocolatesss. :D

2 more weeeeeeeks to chiong for Syf........! I want a Gold! ): I think we can get a Gold.

But is whether we put in effort anot. ):

Anywayssss do our bestttt don attitude anymore la wlaoo. ):

K off the chiong finish my homework if not i'll die, (again)

Omg this line is so familiar..................... O: Was it in the last post...? /:

"This is what happens when you let your heart win."

With a little luck we can make this damn thing work out. It already worked out well. But i guess, we ran out of luck. Will the luck come back......? I miss you. ):

2009-03-31T21:09:00.002+08:00

Hellllo crazy updates here again!
Got syf rehearsal tmr! Fulll dresss! Omg must bring so many things to schooooool. ):
Oh welllll tmr is april's foool. HAHAHA i wonder what will happen to anybody!
Wlao plannnned stuff but cant do it anymore cuz got the rehearsal thingy, ):
Anyw chemistry remedial tmrrrr wlao i havent do the bloody worksheet yet!
Tonight no need to sleeep already. Plus the bus ride tdy with Ming En Gerald Mei Xin & Maryann was crazy cuz some ah ma asked what schoool we were from blah.
I think she buay song us cuz we didnt give up our seat to her.
Wlao not MingEn's dayyyyyyyy HAHAHA (Laughs at him loudly LAWL.)
Anyw crazyyy tmr's wushu competition! HA i wish everyone all the best! :D
K off to do homework if not tmr i die very very fast. O:
(Why did i feel so affected when MeiXin screamed that line into class today? I was so scared of what you might think, would you think i really did give up on you? I....... wanted to stop and tell you straightaway that no, i'm not attached yet cuz i still love you very very much. But it just wasnt possible. Would you even care, if i told you i still loved you? Would you still look me in the eye the way you used to? Everytime i tell myself that, no way you're gonna turn back & return to my side anymore, but some part of me... That very very foolish part of me, still daydreams about the day you walk up to me & say, "Marilyn, actually i've always loved you as much as i did from the start. Would you be my girlfriend again?" I know if that day ever comes i'll smile & give you a hug straightaway &say yes. But thinking again, when will that day ever come? That fantasy, is so far away. It would be a miracle if it really happened. So even when i know its prolly never ever gonna happen, why do i still think about that scenario all the time? I miss you dear, I dont know how i get through each day hearing your voice just somehwere behind me. You're so near, yet so far. I never know how to exactly face you. What if i turned around &you were looking my way? What would i do? Would i just look away, or ........ Why is it so hard to get over the times i had with you? Why cant i just forget, and just meet some other wonderful guy who can love me so much more than you?
Then again, why do i still care when you prolly dont even notice my existance anymore.
I dontknow if you'll ever see this...., but.
If i were to wait all the way after o levels baby, would you come back to me.........?)

Btw, i am not attached.

2009-03-28T22:10:00.002+08:00

HELLO WORLD. :D

Yes i'm here for a quick update i'm outta time! :D

New crazy seating arrangements in class, new eye-candy.............(!)

& Wednesday night tuitions are the bomb man(z). &there's gonna be Friday night's tooo. (Grins.)

HAHAHAHAHA.

K i'm crazy prelims are coming soooooon rawr i need to get my ass off my bed & start studying ha, O:

Hehhhhhhhh Chem remedial every Wed at Ven's classs hahaha go crazy again tooo.

Then Syf's gonna arrive yay i hope we get gold!

Next Wednesdayyyyyy. :D :D :D HAHAHA, Megawatt grins heh.

Okay i've nothing much to say i think i lost my passion for blogging!

Catch up another time bye, (:

(If i said i like him & dont love you anymore, now that's called self-denial. All i need is time.)

2009-03-19T21:40:00.002+08:00

You know i realised i've been such a stupid person i feel like i'm such a fucking fool. Everyday, i hold on to that small glimmer of hope that there's still a chance for us to get back together, because i believed. Even if everyone in the world told me i was in self-denial, & even if i knew i was, i still held on to that hope, because i believed in you, your personality, your character. I was still holding on yesterday, i still cared in the self-denial that you'll come back after o's or something. I still loved you as much as i did from the start of us but now... I swear i'll get over you. Because right at this instant i hate you. I hate you for everything you did, the sweet plus the not-so-nice ones. I hate you, for being able to let go of it so quickly. I hate you, & i wish I'll never ever see you again. I hate you, & i never want to care if you pass your maths tests, or hand up your work in time, or if your grades are slipping, or if you're sick without medicine, or if you're getting enough rest for whatever shit things you have the next day. I hate you. Thanks for messing up my life but i'll get it back on track soon cuz, you, & what you did'll be my motivation, to do better. No matter how much i dont wanto see you i still have to, for every single day. I hope we can still be friends, cuz I'm so tired of running away from you everytime i see you walking by, i'm so tired of trying to avoid you, i'm so tired moving away from a clique of friends when you're there, i'm just so tired of hiding.

I just want my life back to the way it was.

2009-03-15T14:23:00.002+08:00

I cried again on the 13th sigh sucks to the max.

Talk about talentime another time with the pictures & all. :D

Song of the week, Missing Me by RJ Helton.

I love the way it feels when you touch my hand

Don't wanna let you go

I love the way you say that I am your man

Don't understand why we can't go on and go on

Don't understand why

You don't belong in my arms

Oh no

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight

Would you come back to me

And even if I walked on the water

Would you come out to see

Now I can't spend my life standing by

Cause even when I miss you, You're still not missing me.

It's funny how my heart just won't let it go

I just don't understand

It's crazy how the pain seems to overflow

The memories of you here with me by my side

I can't deny that you are the love of my life

Ohno

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight

Would you come back to me

And even if I walked on the water

Would you come out to sea

Now I can't spend my life standing by

Cause even when I miss you, You're still not missing me.

I still cry for you, I would die for you

I can't believe all the words I heard you say

I still long for you, And I was strong for you

I can't believe that you'd throw it all away

I still cry for you, I would die for you

I can't believe all the words I heard you say

I still long for you, And I was strong for you

I can't believe that you'd throw it all

Even if I cried a thousand tears tonight

Would you come back to me

And even if I walked on the water

would you come out to sea

Now I can't spend my life standing by

Cause even when I miss you, You're still not missing me.

I still cry for you, I would die for you

I can't believe all the words I heard you say

I still long for you, I was strong for you

I can't believe that you'd throw it all away

Now I can't spend my life standing by

Cause even when I miss you, You're still not missing me........

2009-03-07T15:48:00.005+08:00

(Wish i could press rewind, turn back the hands of time to the story of me &you.)

Hey crazyys. I'm back crazily enough to blog.

Common tests are finally over i pretty much screwed everything up la get the fuck away/.

Super bad Pms yesterday, sorry to Maryann! D:

Went out with Peh Mei Xin & Vendela at Vivo.
Crazy amounts of flashbacks omfg but i really think everything, whether i'm happy/sad really just depends on myself. After all, i'm the one that still chooses to be reminded of you by every little thing right, so.. I guess i need a change.

Happiness is....... being able to have had memories with someone you loved the most.

I'll let peektures do the talking so, ha.

Done with this, off to sleeep. The weather's great now, its raining..

&there's a smile on my face. (:

Byebyebyebyebye. Talentime is screwed too. HAHAHAHA.

"Cuz i want it all, or nothing at all. There's nowhere left to fall when you reach the bottom its now or never. Is this all, or are we just friends. Is this how it ends with a simple telephone call, you leave me here. With nothing at all."

Cause even when I miss you, You're still not missing me....................

2009-03-05T21:37:00.002+08:00

Its been a long time since i last cried.

(I fucking miss you so much.)

2009-02-28T17:14:00.005+08:00

Today's the last day of February. Its another month gone. I guess its really time for me to start focusing on my studies already hahaha.
So just for old times' sake & for my self-denial of "If i write down everything that i remember of you, i might actually start to forget too." kind of thinking, this post shall be dedicated to you.

& hopefully, i'll never have to mention anything about missing you anymore.

First of all, thankyou for the memories love,

I cant really remember how we first started to talk, it was so muffled when i changed classes form IT to HM, & my only close friend was Dearie.

But then i met you, then, as a responsible chairman who was efficient cuz you did up our class blog not long after school reopened.

Being that responsible chairman (ha) you got my number & told me the timetable everynow & then, and helped me typed out the 1100 words & meanings while sending it to me via email, later realising you forgot to attach the microsoft attachment to it.

That was so lame! But it was still really sweet.
We used to bluetooth message in class too cuz of my limited messages, cuz you were sitting so far away, cuz we were never in the same group during group work ha, those were the days.

Then we just became bestfriends :D

You were there for me at my darkest point of my life last year & consoled me over Cs & helped me through it.

Crazily enough although we didn't know each other for long, you did smt on the last Valentines' Day which i thought was really sweet, i know i will never forget.

Then it was like nonstop texting & calling for like forever & March holidays came.

We.. Studies in school together someday & did Physics, you were sitting beside me, i can totally remember every single detail. We started to clear out files cuz i said yours was messy & we started to play this retarded game of throwing unwanted papers into the bin, backwards. I totally owned you la haha.

Then was April, we confessed and studied in school library on some random public holiday & got caught by ex-deskmate & fellow wushu members lawl, was the joke but we still.. had fun that day.

After that was really muffled, we stopped talking throughout the Mid-Years & you started to spike your hair too lawl it was really weird at first, but now its like the norm.

I dontknow what else happened in between, perhaps i dont wanto remember the sad parts but i know we became bestfriends again during July.

Random lunch dates before sending me to tuition was the bomb, we were the closest at that point crazy too, using each others phone to take pictures hahahaha.

Thankyou, for sending me all the way to Tpy although you live in Tampines, i really appreciate you for that.

But before my birthday we didnt talk again, & i'm sorry for everything that happened in between.

EBO helped me through &i did smt that turned the coldness between us around and..

We got together.

EOY's came,

we studies together, went to the exam hall together, called every night, & met every morning without fail.

We even had study dates with friends on weekends ha & thankyou for being there when i lost my wallet.

Just you being there really makes a difference, to know that no matter what happens you'd still be there made everything so much easier to go through.

EOY's ended & we celebrated our first month together, (:

Then was like Class chalet, which was pretty much more of a date for us cuz we were always missing in action.

The pool, the random walks, the talks, the spliting of rings heh.

Ha, thankyou.

After chalet i went for my holiday & when i came back, that mass sending of messages to me were so sweet i couldn't stop smiling to myself at the airport.

That pile of messages for each day that i was away from you, i missed you & i knew you missed me as much as i did.

Thankyou for that too.

Then third month, you were so tired that day.. And we just randomly went to clarke quay/Suntec like we always do, & spent our day there.

Sat somewhere near the fountain & just spent some quality time together, with me randomly taking our pictures heh.

Then was Rachel Tan's christmas party and.. It was still so sweet.

School reopened &.. there isn't much more to say cuz i dont wanto remember anything that happened then.

Februay 13th, i know i will never forget too.

That's prolly the easiest summary i can think about our journey so far,

&thankyou for everything still.

I never regretted meeting you, never regretted being with you, & never regretted loving you.

I'll never forget you baby. Take care love.

2009-02-26T20:58:00.004+08:00

Hi i'm here after a really long while.
Although there's smt crazy going on at Cbox now & i cant see my tagboard, i guess i roughly know whats going on for the past few days.

To Llewol ??,
Thankayou for sort of helping me in this mess, but there is really no need to pose as Lowell to help, no need to use his name or try to type like him or whatsoever. You could've always used your own name. (:

To ./BLAHBLAH/Passerbuai,
Thanks so much for the insults. (:
But seriously, i really dont give a shit about what you feel about me, i know you pretty much dont care about it too. I'm not gonna be thinking of what kind of sarcastic remarks to hit you back with, I dont think you're worth my time/efforts thankyouverymuch. Fyi, Llewol ?? isn't even the real Lowell, if you didn't know. (:
Oh, &If you really love Lowell & really, really wanna be with him, go fight for him then. Nobody's standing in your fucking way to getting to him. There isn't a need to come & spam my tagboard, cuz we've broken up & he isn't related to me anyhoo. If me clinging on to our used-to-be memories/my character/just me really disturbs you, all i can say is. If you dont like me, you can jolly well not even come to my blog, cuz i dont think it even matters whether you are here or not, ha so why are you even still hanging around here prettaye. Bye. :D

Righty & thankyou to everyone that helped,
espcially Charmaine........, & everyone.(passerby's/anon's included.) (:

Right i'm done with that, i dont think there's much more to say to people who have too much time around cuz you know, Sec 4's nowadays are getting pretty much very busy with studies to fucking even care if people actually likes them or not. :D
School's been busy like crazy everything is like passing so super fast! Heh, i need to keep up in class &stay as happy as i am now. :D
Chemistry redox redox redox.
Physics Electrictiy Electricity Electricity.
Amaths..... E maths.....
Geography.......................
HAHAHA common tests are next week omfg i need to start studying already. :D
Heh k i'll come by sooon another day teehee, bye!

I finally know why we should never be with someone from the same class, ha. It gets really hard to concentrate even when you're still trying your best.

"But someday love is gonna lead you back to me, but till it does i'll have an empty heart. So i'll just have to believe, somewhere out there you're thinking of me. Till the day i let you go, till we say our next hello it's not goodbye."

2009-02-21T22:05:00.003+08:00

Hey crazy peeps.
I'm just too lazy to update on anything much ha.......,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO CHARMAINE.....! (:D)
You're sixteen my dearie, heh luv you to bitszxzxz.
Recent updates.. Eh.
Choir choral exchange today, it was totally like usual rawr.
Got detention next Thursday for wearing pumps to school last Saturday, ):
First detention ever & its actually cuz of this omfg.
Sigh, what can i say. Life's like this.
Got all crazily hysterical during Choir on Friday omfg.
HAHA irrational beliefs, (Oh i think only Maryann Ash Ven & MeiXuan knows what i'm saying)
Went crazy, sad, angry, sad, crazy, sad, angry, sad plus more sad.
HAHAA learn to let go la Crazy retarded Marilyn, heh.
(Look at all the friends ard you that loves you so much more.)
Aha, look on the Bright side, Life is great.
Sunflowers la ha ha bright & yellow. Keeps the ends of my mouth up at least.

I'm learning to remember the memories while keeping a smile on my face, wow.
After all, they were sweet. Just try not to remember so much about the times of ):
Then i'll be fine.
Monday's the 23rd all over again.
I had a great 1st 23rd, missed the 2nd 23rd, had the best 3rd 23rd, worst 4th 23rd

& no more 5th 23rd.
Aha. Wait, why do i even still care.
See i'm losing it all over again.
I think, i care, then i go crazy scolding myself. Why should i care about anything, when he doesn't even bother about a thing.
Ha what a crazt nonsensical post i should totally stop cuz i'm going all crazy, AGAIN.
I need to find a new place ha where i can start anew.
I'm cheering up, I'm starting to forget, (Omfg what a lie)
Its a lie, but whattheheck at least i'm trying my best.
Fuck it, stop talking about this already i should stop typing ha bye.

"Even though i really love you, I'm gonna smile cuz i deserve to.
It'll all get better in time."
(Lowell Chong, you should always remember that you were the one who gave this up & broke my heart. Not me.)

2009-02-16T21:38:00.002+08:00

I Miss You/.

I remembered when we first got together, i once asked you.

I wonder when will you ever stop loving me.

&You said, "When pigs can fly."

Its these little sweet things that keeps my smile on my face & tears flowing at the same time.

Hold on tight to the memories, cuz to me.. They're the most precious things left of you.

2009-02-14T21:46:00.006+08:00

Tried all i could/.

Hi Happy Valentine's Day to everyone, (:

Spent Vday with Maryann Vendela Mingen Gerald & Asaph.
Crazy outing with polaroid & Diana F+ Cameras is the Love.

Gerald was especially tired cuz of his Vball training though, rawrs ha.

Walked around crazily. & All three of us received flowers from the guys aha.

Thankayou(!) :D

& almost every couple on the road had a bouquet of flowers with them, (aww.)

Polaroids polaroids.

"She might not be feeling the pain now, because she herself wont know.

She might be feeling that smt's not right, because she can sense the change in you.

But she's still holding on to you.

Not because she's stupid,

not because she's dumb,

not because she's a fool.

But because she believes you will not break her full-hearted heart.

She believes you will not let her tears flow.

She believes you will keep your promises.

She believes that what you both had is called Love.

She loves you not because you are good-looking, or a sweet talker.

She loves you for who you are.

Your every touch, your every word, your every action.

She was born here inperfect, Everyone is.

For her, being the upmost girlfriend is to endure your every move,

your every moodswing, your every word & actions.

Even if she's dealing with the most unbearable pain,

she will bear with it just for your sake.

But once she knows that the time is up, She'll leave you.

With the most unforgettable &painful memories you both had.

From the sweetest to the very last moment,

She had to leave because of your doings.

Cherish & appreaciate your girl, & dont break her fragile heart.

She's the only one who can love you this way.

You wont wanna regret letting go the special girl you have.

For everything that she's done for you,

the least you can do is to give her your unconditional love,

as she has given to you.

Because you should know, her love & sacrifice doesn't mean forever.

When she finally realises that you're not worth her love,

She'll leave for the one who deserves her love.

Dont ever leave the one you love for the one you like,

Because one day, the one you like will leave for the one they love."

Sweet uh, ha i thought so too.

No relevance to whatsoever again tyvm. (:

This is prolly the nicest picture of a rose i have. (:

Celebrating Valentine's Day with friends was great. Its not that i didnt like the outing. But i guess i really didnt want to see any couples that were so much pretty in love at all. Cuz everytime i see a pair of happy couple walk past me all smiles with love written all over their faces, i would think. Why couldn't that couple been us....? I've got my first small bouquet of flowers today, which was really nice. But after i accepted it, i felt really guilty. I couldn't find a reason to smile, even when i had a small bouquet of flowers in my hands. In the first place, i shouldn't even have felt guilty cuz i didn't do anything wrong. I no longer have any obligations. You happily accepted that balloon, with pretty smiles on your face too. So why should i feel guilty about accepting a small bouquet of flowers? But, i guess it just doesn't seem right. Its so hard to forget everything that we've been through.. I should prolly find a psychiatrist to help me forget all that i've gone through with you. Maybe it wouldn't hurt if i didn't remember. But then again, part of me really still wants to hold on to the happy times we had together. To cherish the good times, & forget about all the hurt. That's what you told me last year. Perhaps now is the time for me to start practising that, i guess i'll need to try to smile from the inside.

"Smile cuz it happened, &not cry because it ended."

I thought you'd be my first & last Valentine, but apparently not. I'll always love you.

Happy Valentine's Day, Bestf.

2009-02-07T15:26:00.004+08:00

♥♥♥
Hihihi. (:D)
Yesyes i found this in Charmaine's phone someday & thought it was really sweet.
Its super long though, gonna take me like a million years to type it out but heh,
its nice. (:

"Guys, if a girl cries in front of you, it means she cant take it anymore.

If you take her hand, she would stay with you for the rest of your life.

If you let her go, she wouldn't be able to go back & be herself anymore.

A girl wont cry easily, except in front of the person she loves most.

Until then, she becomes weak.

A girl wont cry easily.

Only when she loves you the most, she puts down her ego.

Guys, if a girl cries because of you, please hold her hand firmly.

She's the one who would stay with you for the rest of your life.

Guys, if a girl cries beacuse of you, please dont give her up.

Maybe because of your selfish decision, you ruin her whole life.

When she cries right infront of you, when she cries because of you.

Please look into her eyes.

Can you feel/see the pain & hurt she is feeling..?

Think- which other girl ever cried with pure sincerity, Right in front of you & cause of you?

She cries, not because she is weak.

She cries, not because she wants sympathy/pity.

She cries, because crying silently is no longer possible.

The pain, the hurt &agony have becomed too big a burden to be kept inside.

Guys, think about it.

If a girl cries her heart out to you, & all because of you,

Its time to look back on what you've done.

Only you will know the answer to it. Do consider reflecting.

Because one day, It may be too late for regrets.

Too late to just say a simple, 'I'm sorry.' "

The whole chunk up there has no link to whoever or whatever that has happened to me,
It is just a chunk of crap that i thought was really sweet,
So yes please dont link it to me or anyone around me. Thankyouverymuch. (:D)

Oh well yes schools been a bitch with crazy homework & such,
& picnics with Deskmate & back pals are the-love.
Talentime slots are out HAHA group group ! :D
YAY we'll sing oldies, make medleys, rawr i'm excited!
Life's great, (quoted from ah-peh.:D)
Yes yes oh well as long as nothing really bad happens to me, (Like getting cancer or smt)
Life's gonna be great & i'll be loving it.
HAHAHA ah-peh &Ctp's influencing me to become a siaozharbor that keeps grinning, ha.

Oh yes i've got to start studying.
After thinking too much about other stuffs i should get back on track with my studies.
I want to finish my homework on time, like even history homework.
Hmm maybe i should cut short night calls, its distracting esp with the other person on the line crazily making me laugh. (But wait its a good thing, laugh hahaha.)
I want to finish up my Physics workbook with my own efforts.
I want to read up on Physics.
I want to finish my chinese zuo ye which was due on Thursday.
I want to finish my History homework which was due on Friday.
I want to................... be able to focus.
HAHA so many things to do, By this weekend rawr.
I hope i have the determination, (wait i will hahahhaha.)
Done with this post, i need to rush off to find my determination to finish my to-do list!
(Runs off now. HAHAHA i'm becoming lame, Ohmytian.)
Goodluck to Ctp & boyf for their np test today. (:
We'll keep on believing cuz i know we'll get through this altogether.
Baby you make my heart skip a beat when you look me in the eyes, like it never did before.
&i literally mean it. I love you.

2009-01-30T21:48:00.002+08:00

IS THIS HOW THINGS END/.
Hey lovelies yes i'm back aha.
Yes yes i'm gonna do tag replies first, :D

DENISE:D: HEY BALLET WOMAN! you look like damn scary on friday okeh! D:
DENISE:D: DONT BE SAD LAH, YOZ!
Hey, sorry if i scared you manz! HAHA. Why am i the ballet woman! Ahahaha.

jordan: Lol AUNTIE very touching sia, why u nvr go thank me for always calling you auntie haha
jordan: Cheer up anyway:)
Aha, stupid UNCLE stop calling me auntie la, & thankyou anyw. (:

Jinyuan: Haha. Hope you like your present >.<
Haha, yes i did. Thanks alot.:D

colin: wlaooo noo i totally disagree with the guys are always lidat.... THEY ARENT, well im not and u ignore my msges..wlao zz nvm
Aha, i'm sorry la bestest, but i really bao like to the max this month. & cheeer up love! :D

zherui: heys, mei dun sad leh! sorry, been busy with NS packing... sucks! bleagh! happy NIU year! moo...
Aha, are you botak now! HAHA happy NIU year too! :D

`WEIJIE: Hey there. :] Smile and cheerup and...................spastic lah you. :]
Eh eh eh why am i the spastic one! HAHA you're the one with the 'Chao si ni' HAHAHA. :D & i'm fine alrd dont worry hee.(: Thanks EBO, [:

CHAR: Ha ha what a long advice from the Emperor...
Yayaya. Omg super long. HAHAHA.(:

z-: happy new year!!!
z-: the emperor is wasting precious space. And btw put the time on relaxing yourself instead of writing crap here. Health is the important than the crap. Z-
Hey happy new year to you too (belated) & you're really on the dot! & ya i dont thing the emperor's wasting space, aha. & i'll take care of my health, thanks for the concern.

皇帝: Baby, it's actually easier to love someone than it is to live with someone you love; but this second part, being able to live with the person you love, is what relating to the Significant Other is all about. Just because you have the feeling of love towards someone doesn't mean that you can practice oneness with that person. So many factors come into play: does he look at the world with the same set of values as you? Are the both of you committed to learning what each other's true selves are, even the dark, hidden and nasty parts, and after having seen the good, the bad and the ugly, still are able to give each other the grace and space to grow? I think most teenagers jump into a dating relationship without realising what it entails - it really is a time for you to examine, to find out about the Other, to test the workability of a thing... you shouldn't go in assuming that things work. They do, or they do not...baby, don't give yourself away emotionally without first finding out what you're giving away, and who you're giving it to...... Ah me. Must the Emperor's children all make the Imperial heart worried? :)
OMG damn long la Chris. I really didn't expect this from you aha, :D But anyw thanks alottttttt. You know, your words abit chim ah, i needed to take some time to comprehend what you're saying. But i understand now & i'll remember what you said, (: Heh, don't worry about me 'cher, i'm totally alright/better now. (No worries ya,) & watch out for VEHICLES! :D :D :D

Yes i'm done with that aha. Didn't expect Chris's tag though, Lol.
Cny's been the same as every year so really nothing much to talk about.
Pretty much focusing on schoool but seriously the only lesson that i wanna fall asleep in is History class.
Damn it man but i'm not gonna break my record aha, i havent slept in any lesson this year ahaaa.
Anyw this week passed really fast....., Its been one week love.
Sigh i really dontknow what you're thinking. But i still love you.
What hurts the most, is being so close. (Is this how it ends.,)
I'm done with the post, (:
(I've got no more energy left to keep things going.)

2009-01-24T10:40:00.003+08:00

GONNA STAY STRONG./
Welll i'm gonna start this post w a picture!
HAHA went back primary school yesterday to meet Jolynn & Fang Qi.
Went a lil crazy all over again. (:D)

Anyw i'm gonnaa dedicate stuffs to people! HAHAHA.(:D)
Thanks alotttttttt to.........

Crazy Talking Partner.,
Heyy Noooob Ctp.(: Anyw better say i'm nice can this is for you aha. Yes thanks alot for the past weeks, (the cheer ups & all) Cuz it really worked with your comical face (HA) Maybe you should really like put your picture into my phone, so whenever i'm ): i can totally refer to it ha. Ya okay yes this is to tell you i appreciate what you've done okay! Ha, all the calls & everything at night & crzzy hang-ups by me cuz my mum/dad suddenly came into my room, all very paiseh okay! HAHA. K la, thanks like a millionxzxzxzxz. But i'm sure i'm gonna be fine.(:D)

Vendela Wooo.,
Hey lovely! HAHA yes i'm gonna thank you too! Y'know i still feel bad crying into your pe t-shirt last Tuesday! Teehee, i think it was wet right! Lol. But yeahhhh thanks like a millionxzxzxzxz for everything okay. For always being there whenever i needed someone to talk to/cry. & making me laugh at the slightest things like "Eh, go to your scandal laaaaaa. HAHAHA." I love you like crazy man(z), & i'm sure you know that. But you know what, i know i'm gonna be okay so dont worry so much about me lah. (:

Chee Mei Xuan.,
HAHA yes hello thanks for the concern! :D I really will think it through, you know. I'll remember, "When its time to let go, no matter how much you dont want to, you'll still have to let go. Its hard, but stilll have to try." Heh, thanks for trying to help & everything, i really understand what you're trying to do, but.. I'm gonna be alright lovely. Thankyou. (:D)

WeiSeng & Weijie!
Hey you two. Stop emo-ing alright. Anyw thanks for every single thing that you've did/done/tried to do. I know you guys really wanto help too. Cheerup WeiSeng, You know i'm always here to listen to you too! WeiJie Ahhhhh, dont not tell me anything okay! I'm EBT, you can tell me just about anything. (: Thanks a millionszxzxz to both of you, for being there.

To anyone else who've cheered me up when you saw me cry/being sad.,
Thanks alot. I think that's like the simplest i can give to you guys. Realllllly dont worry about me anymore cuz i'm gonna be just fine. Love you guys to the max.

& to you.
I...... actually had alot to say to you. But i just cant find the words anymore. I'm damn tired of this, i really have no more energy to keep this up. This seems like a game to you, apparently it seems like i'm one of the characters. I could just pull out of the game if i didn't love you this much but then again......, i still do. Nothing's gonna seem right without you, just like nothing was right this whole month. All i wanted to tell you yesterday was that i'll wait for you, i'll wait till after o's. & a whole lot of other things that could be the turning point for us. But you didn't even give me a chance to tell you anything at all. "Not in the right mood." Have you even been in the right mood ever since school reopened...? It seems as though i dont know you anymore. & to think i thought you were different, & that you were The One. I'm just so........ disappointed.
They say, "Guys are always like this. When they cant have you they'll be very heartbroken. But when they've got you, they treat you like trash & take you for granted. But when you're gone, Then they will realise what they've lost."
Maybe when i'm gone, then maybe, you might suddenly realise that i actually still exist.
I still love you & thats why i'm holding on. But then again....., "When its time to let go, no matter how much you dont want to, you'll still have to let go."
I love you baby, always did & always will. But..................................

23rd 23rd 23rd 23rd 23rd 23rd 23rd 23rd 23rd 23rd 23rd 23rd/.
Seeemed like the perfect number.
Right now..........., i realised that maybe it wont be.
(Love can be like heaven. But when it goes wrong.. Things take a drastic turn & it'll hurt like it never did before.)

2009-01-18T22:31:00.003+08:00

Had the craziest outing with the BFF on Saturday heee.(:

Like love her to the max. :D

Wellllll talked the way through the whole thingy &............,

HAHA i still love her as much.

Its amazing how she's migrated to australia but we're still close.

Teeeheeeee k la Jolynn Tannn see you on Friday okay! Dont pangseh me hor! (:D)

Peeeeeeeeeektures.

Crazy Woman With the crazy Australia phone, ha. :D

Crazy pictures another day, i'm damn tired.

NOOOB CTP BETTER COME EARLY TMR HOR HA.

The BFF said,

"Gary said he's a nice guy, so he should be. Dont give up on him okay, be strong cuz i believe you'll end up happy."

I think so too baby, so i'm gonna keep holding on love.

(I never knew i could hurt this much.)

2009-01-13T22:01:00.002+08:00

(I resolve to....... keep myself strong.)

Anywwww hahaha i've got myself a new Crazy Talking Partner ! (CTP)

Lolllll Raymond Lerrrrrrrr thanks for your comical face! :D

Right i guess things are always like this, ups & downs blah.

Gotta just accept it, right...? (:

"Its a really grand thing that i'm alive."

So i'll just keep that thought in mind.

Well off to do geog, bye.(:

Even though our talk today didn't go well baby, & i fucking walked off in a huff, but i really love you.. & i'm believing that you still love me too. Although you didn't say anything at all, or even looked me in the eye once.. But i really really want to believe that we were meant to be. All the talk about never breaking up at all, i really believed it & i want it to all come true because i love you. I'm gonna keep doing everything to prove to you that we'll be the love of the century because i know that what we had together was & still is real. We went through so much before we got together & i dont believe that you can let it go so easily. Even if it means texting you without getting a reply for the longest of times, i'd still do it. You promised that we would last & i know we will. I just hope you'll start opening up to me, like you would to me as a bestfriend even when i'm still in the status of your girlfriend. I'm doing everything i can & i hope, i just hope it wont go up in smoke. I love you, always did & always will, & i'm not gonna give up on us just like this. We'll last, i know cuz we will cuz you're the only one i wanna be with. I love you/.

2009-01-11T15:25:00.003+08:00

First thing's first,

Happy Belated Brithday to Maryann (10thJan)

Yes went to Maryann's chalet, crazily played mahjong with Charles over there saying.....

"Eh eh pong pong! Wlao eh, you never see one ah!"

HAHA when he's still talking to Samantha before that. (O:)

Right tmr there's school, i'm gna be there at like normal time agn....

I've been trying to do my homework but nothing's working,

cuz my mind keeps wandering off to somewhere it shouldn't.

Argh, like what the hell.

Well, life's a bitch.

Everyday i go through the same thing, thinking about the same stuffs, brooding over the same retarded things that i know i shouldn't even be thinking about.

Crying becomes like a routine, (Whatthefuck)

Everythings like deja vu, (damnit)

I'm getting indecisive over matters

(Of the heart)

Well, really shall not talk too much about it now..............

Emaths graphs, here i come!

Favourite song (all of a sudden.)

I hate this part, Pussycat dolls.

"We're driving slow through the snow on 5th Avenue

And right now radio's all that we can hear

Now we ain't talk since we left, it's so over do

It's cold outside but between us its worse than that

The world slows down

But my heart beats fast right now

I know this is the part

Where the end starts

I can't take it any longer

Thought that we were stronger

All we do is linger

Slipping through my fingers

I don't wanna try now

All that's left is good-bye

To find a way that I can tell you

I hate this part right here

I just can't take your tear's

I hate this part right here

Everyday, 7 takes of the same old scene

Seems we're bound by the loss of the same routine

Gotta talk to you now before we go to sleep

But will you sleep once I tell you whats hurting me

The world slows down

But my heart beats fast right now

I know this is the part

Where the end starts

I can't take it any longer

Thought that we were stronger

All we do is linger

Slipping through my fingers

I don't wanna try now

All that's left is good-bye

To find a way that I can tell you

I hate this part right here

I just can't take your tears

I hate this part right here

I know you'll ask me to hold on

And carry on like nothing's wrong

But there is no more time for lies

'Cause i see sunset in your eyes

I can't take it any longer

Thought that we were stronger

All we do is linger

Slipping through our fingers

I don't wanna try now

All that's left is good-bye

To find a way that I can tell you

But I gotta do it, I gotta do it, I gotta do it

I hate this part I gotta do it, I gotta do it, I gotta do it

I hate this part right here

And I just can't take these tears

I hate this part right here................"

I love you, but i dont know about you anymore.

2009-01-08T20:56:00.007+08:00

School's crazy for having brain breaks & coming at 8 on Mondays, seriously.

Rawr, i havent been in the best of moods lately like wtf.

&its not even because i have like friggin' pms or smt.

Anyw, dsa sec one's have came for their first choir practice,!

HAHA like everyone who wasn't new in Soprano's were like crazy.

Esp me Ashley Kuo Xian & Serene the banana.

I'm gonnnna focus my everything on studies now! :D

Be a loser who needs a life who just goes home to mug everyday.

Cool huh. Nah i'm just kidding. But!

I'm gonna try & finish all my hmk on time! Keep myself busy & everything, its good.

I suddenly love bus rides home alone & just being alone.

Maybe cuz it gives me more time to think about stuffs.

"When you love someone, &they break your heart. Dont give up on love, have faith restart just hold on."

So why is it that i've restarted but i feel as if my heart's been broken a second time....?

2009-01-04T22:11:00.003+08:00

Guess this is my first post for 2009...!

Wellll i hope everything becomes better, & i become more hardworking overnight.

So i cant friggin' score for my o's. & i hope chinese o's results are gonna be nice to seee.

(D:)

Well i've got nothing much more to say.

I shall go become a loser who needs to get a life.

I'm gonna play with my pet in pet society.

"I'll do my crying in the rain, bye."

Whenever i told Vendela that, i always said it as though it did'nt mean anything to me. But yesterday when i was actually considering about it........., i really did'nt want to let you go at all. I was in a twirl i never was in before.

"I'm just gonna keep holding on until the day i cant take it anymore."

2008-12-28T14:26:00.002+08:00

Fridayyyyyy was christmas party at boyfriend Rachel's housee!

HAHAHA i left pretty early but ya spent like the whole afternoon there playing murderer.....,O:

Anyw Boyfriend & Reis can become like jiaobin face brothers alrd cuz they're gl face really very jiaobin LOL.

I didnt take much pictures but ya........., it was quite fun la heh.

Rachel boyf's house is like super biggggg! Grrr.

& i stilll need ka-chings to buy presents for my lovelies! ):

Arghh.(@$&*#%^)

Oh well birthday picnic for Vendelaaaa at botanic gardens Tmrrrr yay.

Time to catch up w the lovelies so seee ya'll tmr tmr teehee.:D

A little too not over you./

2008-12-25T15:45:00.003+08:00

Merrrrrrry Christmas! :D

Anyw yesyes today's christmas although im not doing much but its still christmas!

Ohya Tuesday was third month & we went outtt! :D

But he was realllly tired so yeap went home at like 5 plusss.

HAHAHA Picture of that day, (:

I'm getting very very very broke & i have so many presents to buy that i havent bought! (zzz)
Thats like so sian.
I neeeeeeeed more ka-chings grrrrrr!
OH& YES I CHANGED MY BLOGSKIN HAHAHAHA.
I FEEL SO FRIGGIN ACCOMPLISHED!
Okay that was pretty lame but hahahahha.
Alrighty yes christmas party at Rach Tan Boyf's houseee.
Tohwei & boyf's been asking me to go so yeah i'm gonna go there for awhile tmrrr!
HAHAHA. But i've got no present to bring there die. Loll.
(Should call BumDumb go get smt w me first......(?))
Loll. Alrighty i'm out of things to say sooooooooooo.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE! :D
Omg you're sucha flirt, he was right you're such a flirt. & i friggin always thought you were nice. I wonder why i did.

2008-12-21T18:19:00.005+08:00

Hellllllo i'm here again.
Anyw yes yes let's talk about my week Lolll.
Monday i went to Vendela's house to swimmmmmm....! :D
Heh heh most of the pictures are with her so i'll post them some other dayyyy.
Right now i'm just gonna post two hahaha.
(Girlfriend let's do this more more more.:D)

Aha oh yes.....,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO VENDELAAAA!!!! :D
Yes hmm then Wednesday got Asaph to pei me go school.
Aye supposed to do hmkkkk but we ended up slacking & talking HAHAHA.
But yesyes was funnnn :D
Then that afternoon met Toh Wei for lunch at parkway & talked too.:D
Then met boyfriend & friends at the busstop & then took bus w Toh Wei.
TeeHee, :D
Alright that was about my week. Pretty boring but yeap.
Ohyes, next Tuesday is 23rd again hahahaha.(:D)
3rd month Heeeeeeeee.
HAHA anyw the rest of the pictures are some random ones......,
& i bet if my boyfriend saw this he'll go............
"Aiyo you zilian-ing again. Hahaha."
Well that's true, if someday you see my phoneeee... Its really alot HAHA.

HAHA did anyone actually thought i cut short hair Loooool.
Well i wont cuz i love my long hair Hehhh.:D

I thought candy canes were nice to eattttt! D:
They're minty.):

Ohwelllls. Yes i'm ending my post &......................
(Can someone help me decide if i should go on Friday HAHAHA.)
Righty bye & school is reopening in 12 days time.
(Megawatt frowns.)

2008-12-13T12:43:00.002+08:00

Hey guys,! I'm really lazy to even blog my pictures during holiday already, so if you wanna see it you can probably catch it on Facebook.

Heh, outing w Ven & Asaph to watch Bolt 3D, (ASAPH is such a SUAKU.)

HAHA it was great, prolly write more about it another day.

(Hmm, Monday maybe.)

Alrighty, i've nothing much more to write.

So.........., catch up soon to everyone i havent catched up with haha.

Bye see everyone soon.:D

(With things going on like this, how much longer can this last...,)

2008-12-07T13:09:00.001+08:00

Hey im back! :D

Anyw, i've got too many pictures to post so i'll post it up another day! :D

Righty missed everyone, (:

Take care see you guys sooon bye.!

"An answer to change the world."

2008-11-22T10:12:00.002+08:00

Hellllo.:D

Yesyes i'm back with pictures HAHA.
Chalet ones are here, a bit cuz my hotmail is so screwed i cant open my messages.

Roar., & i'm lazy to go kope from Charmaine's blogg HAHAHA.

HAHA he's the love.(:

(:

Charmaine Teo, dearie!:D

HAHA okayyy here is some random pictures on Comm lunch! :D

Heh heh.

Thennnn............., did i mention my sister & i loves camwhoring,,?:D

Did i not mention that, she can drive now too.O:

HAHAHA cooooool right she's 19.:D

Oh kay, stop here for now.(:

I'm leaving for Paris tonight, 11.55pm.

I'll miss everyone especially my bestest(s) & my boyfriend.):

I'll be back soooooon! :D (byebyebye):)

Love you guys to the maximum.(:

"I loveeeeee my boyfriend. He's the lovee.(:"

2008-11-16T15:17:00.004+08:00

Yay finally got the pictures! HAHA but not the one with bestest!
LOL. Rightyyy.

Choir concert was theeeeee bomb HAHA.

Loved it to the maxxx.(:D)
Heh had dinner with boyfriend on choir concert dayyyy cuz he came ha.
Then Thanks to gor ZheRui for coming too!
HAHA the presentttt is niceeee.:D
I'm going on holiday next Saturday its likeeee sooo fastttt.D:
Sorrry boyf! Misssssss the second month, &sorrry girlf(ASHLEY!) i miss your birthday too.
Then sorry to boyf (again) I'll miss your birthday too.D:D:
Right off to do a sense of belonginggggggggggg.(Online discussion)

YAY& Group one's storyboard rocks to the maxxx cuz its nice.:D

ZheRui.:D

"Maybe we're friends, maybe we more. Maybe its just my imagination."
Lovee you dearr.:D

2008-11-06T22:24:00.002+08:00

Hello world my com is finally back!
YAY. After like threee friggin' long weeeeks.
Righty O's is over i'm damn happy. It was..... okay! :D
Then hmm. Bonding today with Maryann Vendela & Lowell. HAHAHA.
Its was funny, :D
Okay i'm in a rush, details during the weeeeekends! (:D)
HEH.

I loveeeee my b.friend.(:

2008-10-31T21:48:00.003+08:00

Was i even wrong in the first place.
Hello world. HAHA. Okay i'm finally back on laptop, :D
My com is stillllll at the damn repair shop, Courts is friggin' slow. (Omtian./)
Yes yes, laggged for sucha long time i'm damn lazy to update.!
PhotoFunia HAHA its damn cute.(LOL!)
Anw i was really bored like last week or smt HAHA.

Ohhhhkayyyyyy. I have no idea what to say!
Cuz i dont have pictures here on the lappy!
HAHA okay pictures up when i get my computer back (Which is i-dont-knw-when)
Extension week wasnt as bad as i thought it would be,
Its not as nice as i thought too.
I had fun throughout the week haha.
I dont think i wanna go thru the details.

High School Musical 3 was the bomb.
I'm still very, mesmerized by Zac Efron. Ah, he's the lovee.
(Can you friggin' believe it my sister slept, during the movie leyyy.!!!!!!)
HAHA right not much to say already.! D:
I'm freaking broke manz, i owe Asaphhhh 23 bucks omg.
Installments la okay, :D :D :D :D
Okay going off already i wanna watch ghost whisperer!:D

"Its like we're getting further & further as each day goes by, my dear."

(I hate to even wonder what the hell happened on Thursday night. Fuck it.)

2008-10-18T14:50:00.004+08:00

My com is officially dead hahaha.
Ah well.
I'm gonna say early edition thigs here cuz i wont get to use com for the whole of next week too cuz my sister brings back the laptop only on weekends. ):
HAHA.
Righty, Early.
Happy first month heh, (231008)
& im sure, many more to come yay.

Oh High school musical3 is coming out soon i'm gonnna go watch it!
(Zac Efron is still the heart-throb man.:D)
In a rush, so bye.!

HEH HEH i love you dearrrrrr.(:

2008-10-12T14:14:00.002+08:00

Hello world i'm finally back HAHA.
But my com's gna send to repair soo. Hmm wont be updating anytime soon.:D
Right the first thing i ever wanna update here is....
ILOSTMYWALLETROAR.D:
I'm damn sad please. All my stuffs inside roars!
But oh well. I was like some crazy fella over at Bugis. O:
So................................
Thanks to Joanna WeiSeng & Lowell.(:
Hope i dint spoil the study date HAHAHA.
Exams are over, Sec4's are graduating on Monday.
Its gonna be my turn sooooooon. D:
Okay good luck to all the Sec 4's that i knw for your O levels.:D

I've got a Choir concert coming up (OHMYGOD.)
So tonnes of choir practises coming up its gonna take up all my time.
Plus my holiday at the end of the year, 23 Nov to 3 Dec
I'll miss my second month &his birthday sorry! D:
Sec 4's coming & its............. damn sad.
HAHA dont ask me why laaaa cuz i also dontknw. O:
Okay random picture with the Girlfriend who's with my Bestest HAHAHA.

Yay i love you Maryann Chua.:D

"Its like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like you.

Its one in a million the chances of feeling the way we do."

HAHA keep this strong i love you.:D

2008-09-20T11:54:00.006+08:00

This girl is officially on HIATUS.

&She loves the number 23.

HAHAHA Okay i love you dear bye.

After everything we're back together we'll make this last i love you.

2008-09-13T16:04:00.004+08:00

Hello world.:D
Yes okay actually i'm not that.......................... Emo anymore.
Heh dont worry HAHAHA.
In fact. YAY i wanto say a BIGGGGGGGGGG thankyou to EBO.:D
Heh, for the long hours at the grand audi till 7 plus that day.
& psycho ing me. HAHAHA.
But yeah i was a happy girl yesterday Yes i was.:D
Heeeeee. BUT its a secret & i'm not telling anyone else anymore.
HAHAHA. yay i just hope everything turns okay fine.(:
"Grinning grinning, she's falling in love again. (:D)"
Mooncake festival yesterday,! It was fun except that choir was....... HAHA.
But yeah after that hung out w peeps for awhile then went home to bed.

Ugh then this morning wento school for Chemistry.
Yay i like totally understand better, (my spirits are up too)
Taught WeiSeng the verse for tong hua today, he really learns fast.
& plus he's freaking sweet tooo la HOR. (:
Yeap then walked out alone from front gate (O:)
Then walked past soccer court & saw the IT guys & WeiJie playing soccer.
Then wento meet up with mumsy & sister.

I'm home right now, (Duh)
& yay i'm still feeling happy for doing what i did yesterday.
(It friggin' took me so much courage la can.)
But yay i never regret what i did yesterday, or what i felt before.
HAHAHA. Yay, (I miss you hahaha.)

"Keep the love strong, cuz i dont fancy breakups luv."

2008-09-09T22:05:00.003+08:00

I should have cherished when you were mine for keeps.
Stop wishing you could turn back time.
Stop hoping he still loves you.
Stop blaming everything on yourself.
Stop comparing every other guy to him.
Stop wasting your time on this.
Stop. falling in love with him at the wrong time (now)
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.

He's happy.
(&Thats all i want for him.)
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Cried 3 times in two days. My feelings are screwing me up. EOY's is in 13 days. I'm friggin' screwed.

2008-09-06T12:42:00.003+08:00

I've Gotta Stay Strong.
Hello! HEE.
K i've not been blogging for the weekdays.:D
Holidays are gonna be over, CAMP ROCK's Tmr!(:
Right, Monday was fun.
After physics lesson was outing w Sally YingHui Charmaine & WeiJie!
Study outing became a lost busride adventure to half-an-hour-bowling.:D
YAY the emo brats got mo qi one okays.:D
HAHAHA. & YingHui owned us cuz......... she keep cheating! D:

THE EB's! ت

Right the rest of the days were alright, nothing much to say hee.

oh Asaph's got an iPhone i'm frigging jealous (0:)

Argh school's reopening i hope.................... Things will change.

(Letters letters.)

Oh &. i'll be on Haitus soon/now. Needa study for the friggin' EOY's already! D:

"& i cant believe you left without a goodbye.(Literally.)"

2008-08-30T14:59:00.016+08:00

Pictures say mostly, about everythings thats happening ha!
Oh CIP on Wed ha was the loveeeee.
Zuxiang was irritating though but thanks to ZeGuang JoLin & ZuXiang!
Heh they accompanied me cuz my ah ma cant walk on any further at terminal 3 HAHA.
K im rushing for time here.D:
Alright uhm. Ytd was teachers day, went out w Vendela later on.
Oh & Met Mei Xin then walked awhile then went home oh.(O:)
Okay today went to cut my hair, there's not any difference HA cuz i asked the lady to keep my length yo.
okay okay i have nothing much to say alr, LOL.

I've really lost faith. All the faith that someone asked me to put in. I've come to a point where i've cared till the feeling is numb & i cant be bothered to care anymore.

I guess i finally knw what you felt during the beginning of the year, (&maybe now.)

All i can say is i'm sorry, i knw i've said this like a zillion times to you, but i'm really sorry.

Sorry, i cant take this anymore.

2008-08-25T22:26:00.003+08:00

"Forgetting someone is like rmbing someone you never knew."
Hee. Birthday was a lil screwed (O:)
But had fun w family toooo.
WeiSeng you all owe me a date HAHA i don't care.:D
Okay i have a-lot of pictures up another day okay hee.:D
Kay here's Thankyou to everyone who wished me happy birthday!

Henry Chua. Vendela. Maryann. Charmaine. Aslyn. CherylC. Lowell. WeiJie. Jordan. Qi Yong. Raymond. Sharon. Colin. Jolene. Ashley. Rachel. Zhe Rui. JinYuan. YingHui. Toh Wei. WeiSeng. RachelT. Mei Xuan. Caleb. Charles. Ms Chai. MingEn. Hannah. Yeh Ching. JiaHong. Jason. Asaph. Reis. Joanna. Bao Yi. HuiChuen. ShiYong. Ding Jie. Chrystal. DongYing. Clara. BrandonT. Eeron. Shu Bin. ZeGuang. SherylLee.

If i forgot your name, i'm sorry! But thanks to Everyone love you all to bits!

Yes i'm gonna sleep now, Yawns.
Chinese test tmr is gonna be so screwed i lost my xia ke ):
(Cheers for me, Hoho.)
Trust me, i'll never forget anything we did.
(The hug, the bus rides, the times in school. Thanks for every single thing.)

I H A T E L I A R S.

&I'm sorry for everything.

2008-08-22T21:57:00.003+08:00

I'm kinda feeling like D: now, i know i should be happy.
2 hours left to my birthday, i'm happy. ( I just keep deceiving myself.)
But i lost a very nice friend in just a few days, I've got a feeling its gone for good.
I hate this feeling.
I wanto cry, but i wont.
I swear a wont drop a tear for any guy again.
I swear.

2008-08-18T21:59:00.005+08:00

Today was pretty much screwed f.ucking badly.

Still is screwed,

No, i'm not thinking already. I just don't wanto smile anymore.

My smile is tired.

(But no, things can only get better.)

"It'll all get better in time."

Somehow, i don't think i believe in words that used to put smiles to my face already/.

Given up hope on pretty much almost everything.

I H a t e Y o u, F a t e.

2008-08-16T11:26:00.003+08:00

I'm pretty much messed up a lil these days.):
Ha anw thanks for the letter EBO, really helped alot.! :D
I have no idea what to post, i'm........ Lost for words ha ha/
Aye our class lost for Netball match yesterday, ): Boohoo, roars.
It was just by one point oh manzxzxz.

Ah yeszxzxz did i mention ZuXiang screwed my sectionals up on Wednesday...?
HA now my whole soprano section thinks i'm ai-mei-ing w my bestf-.-
HAHA but bestf's correct, we dont have anything to hide you guys are allllll Childish :D

I havent been in the best of moooods every since the grinning day ha.
But yeah happy thoughts does matter, (Like EBO says)
So i'll make a point to think of happy things ha.
Concert w choir cliqueeeee tmr tmr tmr. What time are we meeting...?
HAHA. Cant wait, i think it'll brighten my day up.
Next Thursday next Thursday. I'll get the lunch someone owes me ha.
We'll gay together, HAHA.
Off to study for Physics & Chemistry test i think i'm gonna fail Chem like big F.
All thanks t Mr.Pear but yes i'll still make an effort to try.
&We'll leave it all to fate you say, although we both know fate likes to play. I miss you i really do.

Can you hear reality screaming all around you.........?(I do.)

I'm late.

I'm late.
I'm late.

(&you'd ask me what i'm late for, i'd tell you)

I'm late for reality.

(Time to take a reality check. Cuz i knw i keep runnning away from it,)

2008-08-12T22:08:00.003+08:00

I am secretly very happy today. (I'm feeling evil about this.)
& i guess only Vendela knows why. (Grins.)
I thought today would be a ): day but it all turned out :D
HAHA. I'll talk to EBO about it, maybe.
( This is evil, very very evil. I feel bad.)
Right random.

I am still very happy up till now.

HAHAHA i cant stop grinning.

If you were talking about me..............

Maybe, you thought you've missed it.

Maybe, in real life, you actually havent missed me at all.(Not now, not later.)

Maybe, I'm really still here.

2008-08-09T10:42:00.022+08:00

Hello! :D

K K i'm outta time, SUMMARY SUMMARY.;D

Heh, ytd was Xcountry HAHA.

It was fun, 3Harmony stood out cuz we were wearing BROWN.

Not much of a national colour, but yeah i knw everyone had funnnnn.:D

Ah well after that was supposedly a class outing which ended up having me, Char, JieMing, &Bestf off to the Lagoon to have our lunch. (Cuz no one walked to the lagoooon.D:)

Ah then Sally they all came, (:

Chris gave us a ride, (which we thought was to Plaza Sing)
But he dropped us off at A bus stop instead, ):

Char tried t take a snapshot of me & Bestf cuz he was sitting beside me in Chris's car.

Lol, i was like why must secretly take.

HAHA then i took the first photo w Bestf! :D ( Guang Ming Zheng Da Okay.)

HAHA then the guys were so tired they slept on the bus while me & char were talking HA.:D

Ah then waited for the guys so long at some booth then met Florence thy all.

HA i felt damn bad la cuz the guys didnt follow them. Paiseh really...!!!

But i hoped they had fun w us too, HEE.:D

Wandered around like super aimlessly, Then the legs were super tired la.

Stop at so many shops, I'm super amused by small pretty things.:D

They thought im going kee siao already.

HAHA then my attration to pretty boxes too.(:

Then Char & JieMing also can link this to what birthday present Bestf's gonna give me-.-

Slacked Like the whole time, (Wait Bestf said its Chilling O:)

Then after that suggested gg to the MRT staircase to chill out first before gg home.

Right. Damn paiseh HAHA thanks ah Charmaine & JieMing.

LOL but its okay me & Bestf are guang ming zheng da! HAHA. Jisiao all you want lorrr.

Took photos too Lol, the guys never once looked at the camera when i wanted to take the four of us. ZZZZZ.

Well super alot of fun, HAHA let's do it someday again.:D

Rachel.Tan boyf! :D

The Hamonry girls,!:D
HAHA JieMing JieMing/

Ha four of us.!

Picture of the day : "Bestf & me.! :D"

2008-08-07T21:18:00.004+08:00

I would love to have you ard again.
Hello peeps aha.:D
Ohkay here's gonna beeeee updates for the weeek.! :D
(Short one short one.)
Monday was nothing much, i guess.

Tuesday!
HAHA. Bestf took bus w me back to Toa Payoh hee, had lunch tooo.:D
Oh then he sent me up t tuition, & my teacher's niece, Dawn was like.
Who's that....?(In front of best.f)
HA i pointed to Best.f & said. Classmate la.
Which is seriously Trueeeeeeeeeeee(!)
But yes oh well thankyou hee.:D

Wednesday's got nothing much too, choir blah.
Thursday(TODAY!)
Screwed my geog test ):
Piano Exam was alright i was so nervous in the morning HA.
IF i pass the piano & fail my Geog, its so worth it. (Grins.)
Then Walked out with Weiseng Toh Wei Reis Vendela Noelle ShiQin Celestine.
Then went home. & i'm friggin' tired now (Yawns.)
Off to sleep, bye/

I fucking miss you, ):When i walked hom the other day i did a small detour &walked past the playground. I sat at the place where we sat for that one out of three times you sent me home. I thought about the things we talked about & i suddenly remembered that spastic smile on your face. i silently smiled to myself for a moment but cried a lil for another. I think it was cuz, i knw there isnt gonna be a second time, when we would sit at that exact same spot &laugh at the stupid things that we were chatting about. I couldnt stand the memories flowing back, so i decided to head home instead. Dang, the lift broke down. Then i remembered the time when you purposely took a cab down to school during the holidays to fetch me home after choir, bluffing mee that you had taken a bus down. you were supposed to meet the guys for an outing and you were gonna be late. but you didnt mind cuz it was me that you were sending homw. When i reached, the lift was spoiled & i needed to walk the stairs up. I said its okay you dont need to walk me up. But when i eventually reached & looked down, you were still at the grass patch, waiting to see that i've reached home. I thought, that was fucking sweet..................................................But i guess, everythings over now, i knw you wont turn back. But i wish you knw that i'm still here if you ever need a listening ear. Lastlong with her, Iloveyou.

2008-08-02T14:45:00.003+08:00

I friggin' miss you.):
Hello yes i'm.bored.at.home.
I had a whole lot of crap that i wanted to say here bout my parents & such but i'm much too lazy to even type a single thing here.(Too much to say, too little time.)
Right oh yes i promised Bestf smt for him, (: Here it is HAHA.

"Lately I've been thinking about the things that we've been through.
And I don't know if I'd be here, If not for you.
I had to take a little time to try to work things out.
And You should know that I have never meant to let you down.

Cause I, I
Wannna tell you that I'm sorry
And I, I
Even when I'm not giving enough
And I'm taking too much
You're still there for me
Even when I got nothing at all
And I'm ready to fall
You're still there for me
There for me
There for me
Even when I can't be there for you
You're always there for me

Sometimes I know I can be so hard to understand (It's ok)
Even when I'm lost
You show me who I really am
Life with me hasn't always been an easy ride
But because of you I've learned
To lose my selfish pride

Cause I, I
Wannna tell you that I'm sorry
And I, I
Even when I'm not giving enough
And I'm taking too much
You're still there for me
Even when I got nothing at all
And I'm ready to fall
You're still there for me
There for me
There for me
Even when I can't be there for you
Oh you're always there for me yeah
Oh no it's love
It must be love
It's gotta be real love (It's gotta be real love)

Even when I'm not giving enough
And I'm taking too much
You're still there for me
Even when I got nothing at all
And I'm ready to fall
You're still there for me
There for me
There for me
Even when I can't be there for you (When I can't be there)
Even when I can't be there for you
You're always there for me"

Yes yes thankyou bestf the italics & bolds was what i exactly wanted to tell you the last time.(:
I knw you said to not be sorry, but be thankful that we went thru the happy times together.
But yes i know you're smiling right cuz the lyrics so touching HAHA.
I knw the only memories that i actually look back & smile & wanna keep them, were the happy times w you.(: I know almost all of them, puts a smile back on my face. (Grins!)
Thanks for everything you did, & thanks for always being there for me.:D (Dont cry hor.!)
(Oh &, the time when i told you "ILoveYou"on 200408, I really did mean it.(:)
HAHA.YAY i'm done w that i knw bestf's gonna be so touched.!
HEE. & YES my bestf is officially a S E R G E A N T today!
Oh & he said i can tell my friends my bestf is a Sergeant turtle. (:O)
Yeah he is, a Spastic one at that tooooooo.:D

Well this post is mainly to best.f (Ha i knw im nice laaaa.)
Yay, off to study somemore,(Which is getting nowhere i need help!)
& Piano exams next Thursday i knw im so dead-.-/
So, catch up again.(:

2008-07-29T22:13:00.002+08:00

YAY. I think this is for EBO.(:

Hey.! Thanks for everything, (:

I know i can always count on you to text me when i'm ): too.
You, keep smiling too. I'll do my verybest.

Oh. Letter's for you if you dont smile, & when i dont smile too.:D

Yay, us.!

Although i knw its gna be a tough journey,

i knw i'll hold on cuz of the people that cares ard me.

2008-07-26T15:46:00.020+08:00

Last long didi. Last long.
Hello world haha. Okay yesterday was crazy during choir.
Was camwhoring w Mostly MARYANN CHUA.! :D :D :D
Yesyes. I shall not say much more.
A picture tells a thousand words.
MY gosh. So many thousands of words in this post now. :O

ASAPH & his stupid monkey. LOL.

Phone display picture, wor!

CrazyAshley covered her own face-.-

Iloveyou girl, <3

~~I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy.~~
Who am i trying to kid...............?
My heart aches. but i knw in time to come it'll turn numb & i wont feel anything much at all.
What i dont get is. What's the point of telling me all of those when you're already together with her....?
But its okay. I knw, i'll always be right here waiting till i find someone else & forget about you.
I'm smiling, i really still am.
But on the inside, I knw i'm fucking miserable.
I'm sorry EBO. I just cant help myself from this.

2008-07-22T22:23:00.003+08:00

HI HI HI.
Lol. Okay 2.4 was a disaster today.
Harmony was suay shitz today.
I did a nice drawing today.
& gave it to EBO! hahaha.
Hope he liked it, & hope it keeps his rain away.
Yes i dont have much time left to use com, so.
I'll update another time laaaa.:S
Like maybe the weekends or smt.(:

HELLO WHY ARE YOU HIGHLIGHTING HERE.
But you're smart cuz i'll write smt here. HEE.:D
To a special friend:
I knw this is random, but i'm sorry for everything that has happened to us.
You're the greatest friend one can have & i'm sorry i hurt you so badly last time.
This is here for you to read (If you knw its you,,,) Cuz i knw i never had a chance to say.
I'm sorry.
EBO if you're reading this, THIS IS NOT EMO OKAY! haha. I'm just guilty0:

2008-07-19T17:02:00.002+08:00

HELLO I'M HIGH I'M HIGH.
Hee that beats being emo, righttt.:D
Anyway i hope after this post today i'll keep my promise, To keep my smile on my face.:D
Heeee.
Lets just say i cried during the week, but i thought it through.
(That is worth all the tears already ha.(:)
Anyway back to the point. Yes i've thought it through & decided not to think anymore.
I knw i need more self-control where the brain is concerned(LOL that sound so wrong.)
Yeah i should have the discipline to not think so much. But yeah sometimes its hard not to think.
But i knw i'll get through, cuz of all the friends that i knw, will always be there for me.(:
This will be the last ranting i have here in grey. I hope...............

I wish i could turn back time, all the way back to January.. I swear i'd make things work out just so much better, than what it is now. I'm not on the best terms with my best.fr anymore. Not like before, & this is the one that i regret the most for not pulling it back in time. He's changed & so have i. But things are this way now, i guess, its mostly my fault. Didi & i.. I cant really bear to see him anymore. Its a lil painful to see him around. But the thing is, i cant help it right, he's so so close. How he moved on so fast, doesnt matter anymore. I wouldnt want him in misery either. I could still remember the first time he called my name. It was after Chemistry Mid-Years, i was walking out of the hall.. I really miss him. But i dont have the courage to speak to him anymore its just so heartbreaking..... But its still my fault that things are this way, cuz i was the one who gave up the chance that was once in my hands. I let it slip by me. It was an unmissable chance, & i missed it. & my very very past. I dont love him anymore. The memories are there & i know that time is all i need to forget about him, i think...............

'Keep similing Marilyn.' The one line that i'll always rmb, from emobrat two.

I'll really try so so so hard cuz i really do wanto smile everyday of my life. To be happy.To laugh, to keep my spirits up all the time. To never be sad for another moment in my life, to never drop another tear. To just be a cheer ful me, to share the joy , laughter , & happiness that i have with everyone around me.
Yeah thats what i want.

2008-07-13T21:04:00.027+08:00

Hello!
HEE. I wuzxzx a happy girl yesterday cuz i went out w my Primaryschool Bestest,!
Presents, Jolynn Tan.!:D :D :D :D :D
Hahaha. Yeah i always thot that we'd be very super awkward when we meet up.
But its always the opposite we always have things to talk about.
Love Love Love her to bits.............!
She hasnt changed one bit she's still her & i still love her & so does she.
I could ramble on &on & wont even mind if my punctuation is correct cuzxzxz whenever im w her i go haywire,(Aka crazyyyy.:D)
Well that keeps a smilee on my face.
Oh well she has a boyfriend named Aidan now he's a hongkong-er born australian.
I'm still single HA HA HA.(Well i like it, (:)
Yes yes we talked alot i swear.
Oh manzxzxz i missed her so much hahaha.
Whee hugged her when i saw her, & when she left.
I really dint wanto let go cuz i know i will miss her like crazyyyy when she's back to Australia.
): but she's migrated & i cant do anything ohdear.
But she promised she'd be back in nest January.
So our twice a year outing will still be there i think.
ARGH,! ILOVEYOU.<3

Kuku pictures that i love w her, although some are really messed up & lame.
"But just cuz its w her, that makes it all complete i swear."
Whee, just for you Jo.<3

Spastic i dontknw why she likes to take pictures from the topppppppp.:D

HAHAHA. Unglam.:D

I think she's pretty.
No i think she's super duper uber pretty.

Dont you think so, LOL.

She say's i look nice, & then i'm wondering if she's okay in the head.

Thats prolly bout whats all i have heeeee.
Though we only had a short time together i knw she hasnt changed.
I love her as much as i did at the start, & so will i right till the end.(:

Okay then ytd night went to eat steamboat :D
Ohdear i think i'm gonna get fat at this rate.D:
K my sister's going for a camp for a week.
Oh man no one to high w me at night im gonna be so unhigh all week.
She's gone tmr, back on next Sunday i'll miss her so so much,!
HAHA. Better not let her knw she'll be like
"Of course lah. I'm so nice. But wait. I dont think i'll miss you HA HA HA."
Yeah i've got an evil sister but i love her all the same.

I got so much i wanna say, how much i miss the times w you although both were so so short.
I miss the time when you handed me the chocolate &your brudder was jisiaoing you at the canteen.
How i waited for your chinese lecture to end & we went home tgt w your brudder.
How you & your brudder ran out of school w cardboards on your heads cuz it was raining.
How we always had recess & lunch tgt w our, friends.
How my inbox is always filled w your messages that i found sweet although others thot it was normal.
How i'd always try to find ways to see you in school.
How you're smile would always put a smile on my face.
How you'd say i'm petty cuz i hanged up the phone cuz you dared me to,
How you'd call me gong to have opened a file to cause my MSN to get a virus.
How...............................
So many things.
So little time to forget.
I need to try to let go, if not too many memories are taking up the space in my head.
Keep smiling Marilyn, emobrat one says.
I'll try. Its easy on th outside.
But on the inside, its a whole other story.